Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

I’m sure everyone has already made their plans for the 4th — it’s on a Saturday this year, so you can go out of town, attend a really big blow-out event, all sorts of things.

If, however, you have no prospects (or life), there’s always one more Chinet plate at this one, and it has your name on it! Oh, and the people you’ll meet!

It seems those barrels of toxic waste from the Williams Chemical Company are being dumped in Lost Forest by an unscrupulous waste-removal firm, with dubious links to the gambling community.

Yes, evidently LoFo has a gambling community. And Joey, one of the owners of WCC, is so far in debt that contracting with this waste-removal firm is the only way of preventing him having his acorns removed. If you know what I mean.

As Joey reveals this terrible secret to his sister, a local squirrel hears his confession and reacts with a nigh-on rabid response. Part of the gambling mob? Or a member of the anti-gambling grassroots movement? It’s hard to say with squirrels.

Still, gambling is a fact of life and a source of income in many communities, even in LoFo, where Johnny Malotte’s “We Gonna Win Big Now” casino packs ’em in nightly (from 5:30 until 8 or so, although it stays open all the way until 10 on Fridays and Saturdays). And Johnny makes sure that his guests don’t “overdo” it by posting reminders to game responsibly:

I have no idea what’s going on in the current storyline for The Phantom. I think Kit is trying to prevent an assassination. If that’s the case, then he’s probably whaling on the bad guy — but, geez! He’s doing it with such grace! Such style! Such elan…if that guy weren’t getting the crap kicked and punched out of him, he’d probably agree with me! Don’t stop ’til you get enough, Kit!

And still, I wasn’t quite “happy” with Kit’s Jazz Hands. Practice, practice, practice, right?