Mid-January, with promises broken…

…painful truths revealed…

…and quick escapes are planned.

Take yer pick!

These squidlike ambassadors from Phlegmovox 9 are so touchy!

(And they’re about as funny as a Funky Winkerbean comic strip!)

…’cause Westview’s hell.

(But then again, we all already knew that.)

I thought about not going this far, too, but then again, Dad seems proud of the fact that he can multi-task changing a diaper while eating a peanut butter sandwich, so I think the limit here borders on the limitless.

And, of course, how would it be with a new baby if Les weren’t around to wax eloquent and dismal?

(Actually, can we cancel Funky Winkerbean?)

I suppose not. OTOH, may we’re just cancelling characters, one at a time.  We can only hope.

And let’s wrap up October (at least in Westview) with an all-too-easy one…

“The keys to victory”?  What does that mean? Or what is it supposed to mean?  I don’t lead that sheltered a life that I think I might’ve missed that idiom.

Ah, well…as it’s been pointed out so many times, before, “Forget it; it’s Funkytown.”.

stupid, pointless tricks.

Can I stop reading Funky Winkerbean now?

…when it can affect both Rex (Dr. Oblivious) and Cayla (I married Les Moore — how can it be worse?) alike.

Way down deep, you know there have to be reality shows that are so very, very lame that people would rather watch
(1.) televangelists,
(2.) those sad, sad ASPCA commercials with sad song accompaniment,
(3.) test patterns.

It appears that all the Good Stuff (Les writing the screenplay for Lisa’s Slog and Darrin and Darrin’s Wife having a baby) in Westview is going to start tumbling down with the reappearance of the guy who knocked up Lisa the first time around — those in the know tell me the result was Darrin.  Like I care.

Of course, the absolutely non-riveting coverage of Les’ climb to OSCAR-hood featured his sad-sack mug, undoubtedly aiding Darrin’s baby-daddy in finding these twerps.  The question is:  if nothing had been mentioned of this, would Darrin’s daddy have been able to recognize Lisa’s knight in tinfoil armor?

I don’t think it would’ve been difficult…

Bio-Dad Frank calls Bio-Son Darrin, who has no interest in Bio-Interacting with him.  Nevertheless, Related-by-Marriate Jessica feels the need to yammer, nag and push Darrin to the point of no return. (Nice, Jessica.  Really, really nice.  Then again, it’s…)

As you might expect, this being Funky Winkerbean and all, the meeting between Derwood and Bio-Dad goes badly.  Bio-dad want to make a buck from a reality show that’ll feature bastard dad (figuratively) and bastard son (literally) reuniting happily.  Dagwood doesn’t go for it, and all sorts of aspersions are cast upon reality shows (wait to get an easy victory, Batiuiuiuik!).   As Dario storms out…

Yeah. Barf.