…but I hate my piano teacher most of all.”

What’s going on in the current plot of Funky Winkerbean is too long and boring to tell here (yay), so let’s just go with Funky attempting to call former President Clinton (based on a brief whistle-stop 20+ years ago) and ask him for his political influence regarding a foreign national currently living and working in Funkytown.
Yep, that about covers it.

Yeah, yeah, it’s your reponsibility as a citizen. Just steer clear of Westview.

And yet Les still has time for his old pal chunky Funky!

And just when you thought a chat between Les and Funky would slowly sink to the neverending bottom of ennui…

GO, MARK, GO!!!

…then an octopus. Or a millipede. Or a centipede. If only it were more interesting.
Let’s see what Mason Jarr is up to now, with “Lisa’s Interminable Story” taking a break…

So, Los Angeles is burning to the ground. Everyone is trying to escape. We know Les (joy unbounded) and Mariann, the actress playing Lisa, are safe in a marina somewhere on Mason Jarr’s boat. Aren’t you glad that in spite of thousands of people in danger, that Les is safe? (Insert gagging noise here.)

Maybe LA will go up in flames. Maybe the pandemic will kill 80% of the population. Maybe the actress won’t buy Les’ crap.

And yer out, Les!

And now, we have Comic Book artist’s (or more truthfully, “drawer”) girl friend’s dad trapped up in the Hollywood foothills with his imagined childhood…um….child, both of them about to be incinerated by the biggest fire in California history! I suspect that Tom Batshitcrazy is just going to end the Funky Winkerbean strip by methodically killing all of his characters off…

Please make it be the end. I don’t care who’s alive and who’s dead…

Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease…

Who cares if she can’t cook? The entertainment part is marvelous!

And we’re back in Hollywood, where Les gets to watch hours of screen tests for the wonderful, wonderful DEAD LISA! Oh, the Joy!

Mason shoos Les off to the studio cafeteria to win friends and influence people. So far, two people aren’t impressed.

Don’t do it, Tudor walk-on! Don’t engage Les in conversation!

And…ACTION!

The scintillating conversation continues…

I miss the old days of Hollywood…

This has all the earmarks of an award-winner, particularly since 2020 was the Year of Broken Dreams…

The cruel but honest side of Hollywood:

Les is back home and still worrying over his film-epic-to-be…what will happen if the guy who knocked up dead Lisa (still alive) shows up on the doorstep or railroad crossing of post office? And who cares?

Nevertheless Les is beginning to see enemies everywhere…and we are obligated to oblige the jerk. Starting with…

And then:

And THEN:

And even MORE THEN!:

This spreads more insidiously that ‘rona virus!

The driver is actually Mason Jarr, following Les so he can “become” Les, in the great tradition of hack D-list movie actors everywhere! and everyone who reads this tripe asks “Who cares?”

So, it’s Mother’s Day, and Cayla gets to spend it in Funkyville OH, listening to Les whinge about having no luck on getting Dead Lisa My Very Own Wife movie into production. (Oh, and he’s in Hollywood BTW.)
Good God, is Cayla that desperate that she’ll stick with Les until she dies?
Les is a complete and utter asshole. The End.

And yet, after a weeken of whining, Les and his crap-for-brains agent Mason continue to hit the Hollywood streets, hoping for a green light!

Okay, sure. I’m officially bored with everything in Funky WInkerbean. Do the hell whatever Batuik and your avatar want…

…let’s talk about the cartoonist’s brutal but oh-so-satisfying life! And because he’s so much more than a cartoonist—he’s a Great Cartoonist! So great that he should appear in his own cartoon!

Well, the interview with Les’ class was a bust, but really…isn’t everything associated with Les a bust?

A quick little sojourn out to sunny L.A. for Les to, once again, peddle “Lisa’s Sob Story” to the film-making establishment. For the population in China. Yeah, what could go wrong with that!?!??

Now may be a good time for him to really worry.

I also forgot how much I liked Cayla (her taste in men aside)…

Can Les be any more of a jerk? Is there a title, or a contest, that he’s trying to win? Me, personally, I’d love to see Cayla leave once they return home (if not before).

Finally, sunny California…Swimming Pools, Movie Stars.
And the sad realization that “Lisa’s Story: The Book” may actually become “Lisa’s Story: The Movie at the Dollar Dive a Week After It Opens.”

Then again, I think the cinematic version of “Lisa’s Story” has about as much box office draw (and big bucks income) as “Cats”…

While Les and Mr. D-level start yammer about the proto-triumph of “Lisa’s Story” on the big screen, Cayla and the ex-cheerleader from Les’ high school class schmooze on the beach. No, it isn’t sexy or racy or interesting at all.

In the Funkyverse, everyone is the slimmest margin from the Grim Reaper, accidentally or intentionally. Most intentionally.

And the wheels on the car go round and round…