Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

Good Gracious…the lead-up to this magnificent event is just so TEDIOUS!

Oh, look! Mason has a super-special surprise for Les….

I swear to God….Batuiuik named the production company, not me!!!!

And you can guess how it all turns out.

Meanwhile, on to cheerier things…

Nothing happy lasts forever; you ought to know that by now. And it’s back to the Farmers’ Market.

Buck up, Les! Of course, you of all people know how to put on a happy face.

All’s well that ends. That’s it.

I have no idea if this is Funky Winkerbean or Crankshaft, but it’s a Batuiuik-World, after all. And the buttinsky should’ve gotten a clue from the sign posted on the door: “Under Nude Management.”

So two old has-been comic book artists are on their way to San Diego to be feted by the 238,853,412 members of Comic-Con. Maybe one or two might even recognize them!

I rarely snark on Tom Batitutitk because his strips are so darn boring (Funky Winkerbean, Crankshaft). Even this isn’t much of a snark; the best thing might be if that CC’s John Long lifted my final panel to snark on it!
In case you care, Mr. Dinkle has been hired as an organist (snerk) at a local church of Satan or St. Tedium or something…

Les is still hawking those books that should’ve been remaindered years ago, but the public loves it…

Why? because it’s a free signing! Maybe there’ll be cookies!

Then again, no cookie is worth this…

Les is just phoning it in, and the bookstore owners have closed for the night…

(Who wants to bet that some of the audience is pooling their loose change to dry-gulch Les?)

And here is what/who appears to be Les’ Number 1 Fan!

After a week of this drivel, one could ask philosophical questions…

…but I hate my piano teacher most of all.”

Wow…the excitement of school music directors’ convention! Reminds me of those Things that Happened back in Band Camp (or thing you wished had happened…)

Of course, we can’t leave Funkyville behind, with Funky himself getting prepped for cataract surgery!

It looks like Funky survived the cataract operation. Nobody get too excited now…

(Who knew that there were so many types of harpoons?!??)

What’s going on in the current plot of Funky Winkerbean is too long and boring to tell here (yay), so let’s just go with Funky attempting to call former President Clinton (based on a brief whistle-stop 20+ years ago) and ask him for his political influence regarding a foreign national currently living and working in Funkytown.
Yep, that about covers it.

Yeah, yeah, it’s your reponsibility as a citizen. Just steer clear of Westview.

And yet Les still has time for his old pal chunky Funky!

And just when you thought a chat between Les and Funky would slowly sink to the neverending bottom of ennui…

GO, MARK, GO!!!

…then an octopus. Or a millipede. Or a centipede. If only it were more interesting.
Let’s see what Mason Jarr is up to now, with “Lisa’s Interminable Story” taking a break…

So, Los Angeles is burning to the ground. Everyone is trying to escape. We know Les (joy unbounded) and Mariann, the actress playing Lisa, are safe in a marina somewhere on Mason Jarr’s boat. Aren’t you glad that in spite of thousands of people in danger, that Les is safe? (Insert gagging noise here.)

Maybe LA will go up in flames. Maybe the pandemic will kill 80% of the population. Maybe the actress won’t buy Les’ crap.

And yer out, Les!

And now, we have Comic Book artist’s (or more truthfully, “drawer”) girl friend’s dad trapped up in the Hollywood foothills with his imagined childhood…um….child, both of them about to be incinerated by the biggest fire in California history! I suspect that Tom Batshitcrazy is just going to end the Funky Winkerbean strip by methodically killing all of his characters off…

Please make it be the end. I don’t care who’s alive and who’s dead…

Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease…

Who cares if she can’t cook? The entertainment part is marvelous!

And we’re back in Hollywood, where Les gets to watch hours of screen tests for the wonderful, wonderful DEAD LISA! Oh, the Joy!

Mason shoos Les off to the studio cafeteria to win friends and influence people. So far, two people aren’t impressed.

Don’t do it, Tudor walk-on! Don’t engage Les in conversation!

And…ACTION!

The scintillating conversation continues…

I miss the old days of Hollywood…

This has all the earmarks of an award-winner, particularly since 2020 was the Year of Broken Dreams…

The cruel but honest side of Hollywood:

Les is back home and still worrying over his film-epic-to-be…what will happen if the guy who knocked up dead Lisa (still alive) shows up on the doorstep or railroad crossing of post office? And who cares?

Nevertheless Les is beginning to see enemies everywhere…and we are obligated to oblige the jerk. Starting with…

And then:

And THEN:

And even MORE THEN!:

This spreads more insidiously that ‘rona virus!

The driver is actually Mason Jarr, following Les so he can “become” Les, in the great tradition of hack D-list movie actors everywhere! and everyone who reads this tripe asks “Who cares?”