Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

Bets has left Gunth stranded in the Weinie World parking lot, but at least he doesn’t have to resot fo turning trick to get home. Bernice and Luann have nowhere else to go on a Friday night!

The analysis session moves into the WW lobby, which I’m sure makes the staff oh-so-happy at having to keep the place open for an extra hour for two damned small sodas!

And while Gunth heads home and is summarily forgotten by his peers and the comic strip audience in favor of a new rip-roaring adventure featuring a freakin’ goldfish, don’t be so quick to blow him…. oh, yea, blow him OFF!

…only that a friend of Luann’s (not Bernice or the few others) is run over by the friend’s criminal cousin after having burglarized The Fuse (the restaurant owned by Luann’s folks).
See? I told you it was stupid.

What will happen next. Or should I say, “Do any of us really care?” (Nice to know that Ann Eiffel has a job with Emergency Repsponse Services, though.)

And once again, no one ever dies in the Realm of Luann…they only wish that they did.

Whew! everyone’s safe and/or the cartoonist has lost interest. Instead, let’s have some young adult hijinks about wasting your time and money at college and having FUN instead, because you’re girlfriend wants you to, and you’re too much of a spineless creep to say otherwise!

Let’s drop all these half-baked teen dramas that go nowhere, and instead fixate on real, adult stories that continue to a real, logical conclusion…
Oh, come on! These two gits engendered the twerp Luann!

Late-night work hours can have advantages…

Of course, this racy routine quickly fades; it is Luann, after all.
Hold everything! the races continues!

New story (since the cartoonist apparently lost interest along the way)!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…..

In the real strip and in the snark, both end up happily IMHO…

YOW!!!! This is going on for a SECOND WEEK?!?? Pardon me while I clutch my pearls!

(For those giving a rat’s ass, this “story,” such as it is, is going on Week 3!!!

Bernice is having Boy problems (this is only made funnier because she apparently has a crush on her biological brother…ho ho!) Best to confide in a meathead, right?

Or follow Ma DeGroot’s suggestion and read some soft-core porn for middle Americans…

Not that soft-core porn for middle Americans pays much attention to grammar or editing…

Do it, Bernice…DO EET!!! I’ll give you a bright, shiny quarter…

Just because I want SOMEONE to tell Luann to STFU.

…snark on a different comic!

…and/or snark on a much better one!

…and, of course, a typical, crappier one.

…I won’t say that they’re a sad little bunch. But nothing says that I can’t think it.

Meanwhile, Luann’s friends Bets and Gunth are shooting a cosplay video, because they have even less to do with themselves and totally miss the point of Les’ sarcasm.

Oh, boy….what fun (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)…

Luann isn’t in it! There are a few bumps along the way…

And when we say “what a mutha Ann will make,” we mean it. Give her nothing less than hell, Tiffany!

…on suddenly-happy-but-still-craving-attention Dawn by finding someone new to amble around Charterstone.

This may only be a May-December friendship, but no one could even speculate on the Mary-Dawn catastrophe was…

And just when you think Dawn was headed for the thing that is Jared:

But not to worry….someone is always lurking in the cattails…

And, although you didn’t hear it from me, but I think we’re at the end of “Dawn Falls in Love (no, I really mean it this time)”…

Nope, Dawn is still there, pawing at Mary.

FINALLY!!!!

…Luann’s mom is now a bar-fly (but she gets paid for it), so Luann and her dad have to split the domestic duties. Which means Luann has to pretend how to cook. Thank heavens some random guy bumps into her, so her can be oh-so-cutely distracted!

Meanwhile, Mama DeGroot is having less than a good time at work, having a miserable time with Ann Eiffel, who only wants to “help” run the bistro well (like well into the ground). Mrs. DeGroot finally (yay!) tell Ann to hit the bricks — who knew it was meant literally?

Well, I hardly remember her, or her blank family either. But the strangely-drawn Pru, who’s been living in the De Groot house!, is leaving. I might feel a touch sorry about this, but when you really don’t care…

Or, “Die, Luann! DIE!”

And while we’re on the subject of my own satisfaction, here’s My Candidate for the most Compassionate and Caring Physician Forever!