Bernice is having Boy problems (this is only made funnier because she apparently has a crush on her biological brother…ho ho!) Best to confide in a meathead, right?

Or follow Ma DeGroot’s suggestion and read some soft-core porn for middle Americans…

Not that soft-core porn for middle Americans pays much attention to grammar or editing…

Do it, Bernice…DO EET!!! I’ll give you a bright, shiny quarter…

Just because I want SOMEONE to tell Luann to STFU.

…snark on a different comic!

…and/or snark on a much better one!

…and, of course, a typical, crappier one.

…I won’t say that they’re a sad little bunch. But nothing says that I can’t think it.

Meanwhile, Luann’s friends Bets and Gunth are shooting a cosplay video, because they have even less to do with themselves and totally miss the point of Les’ sarcasm.

Oh, boy….what fun (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)…

Luann isn’t in it! There are a few bumps along the way…

And when we say “what a mutha Ann will make,” we mean it. Give her nothing less than hell, Tiffany!

…on suddenly-happy-but-still-craving-attention Dawn by finding someone new to amble around Charterstone.

This may only be a May-December friendship, but no one could even speculate on the Mary-Dawn catastrophe was…

And just when you think Dawn was headed for the thing that is Jared:

But not to worry….someone is always lurking in the cattails…

And, although you didn’t hear it from me, but I think we’re at the end of “Dawn Falls in Love (no, I really mean it this time)”…

Nope, Dawn is still there, pawing at Mary.

FINALLY!!!!

…Luann’s mom is now a bar-fly (but she gets paid for it), so Luann and her dad have to split the domestic duties. Which means Luann has to pretend how to cook. Thank heavens some random guy bumps into her, so her can be oh-so-cutely distracted!

Meanwhile, Mama DeGroot is having less than a good time at work, having a miserable time with Ann Eiffel, who only wants to “help” run the bistro well (like well into the ground). Mrs. DeGroot finally (yay!) tell Ann to hit the bricks — who knew it was meant literally?

Well, I hardly remember her, or her blank family either. But the strangely-drawn Pru, who’s been living in the De Groot house!, is leaving. I might feel a touch sorry about this, but when you really don’t care…

Or, “Die, Luann! DIE!”

And while we’re on the subject of my own satisfaction, here’s My Candidate for the most Compassionate and Caring Physician Forever!

…until she gets married?
Like….FOREVER?!??
Oh, hell, no, not if Dr. Dad has anything to say about it. It was bad enough agonizing over Brad!

…the Extinction of the Feeblest. At least the bears got something out of it.