Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

…the best thing about it is Sam Driver (young lawyer, I think) is pissing off Alan Parker (old lawyer). And all the women have have breast-reduction surgery. The plot has been boring for the last X number of years…

If nothing else, Sam is persistent.

Sam, give it a rest. Or give it up. Or just drop dead…

Could it actually BE that Sam has made Alan see reason, and given him a reason to live? Probably not, but you never know…

Chef Alan is in the kitchen! Or maybe not.

Well, what did you expect, Abby?

It’s a lovely autumn day, and Abby is certain that the Mayor will find a way to throw her in jail for burning down HER OWN BnB! Can no one come to her aid? Is all hope lost?!??

Remember when Sophie was such a mopey, self-absorbed teen? She’s still a teen, but she’s developed a whole new optimistic attitude…how refreshing!

And Abby thought things (aside being convicted of arson) were going so well…

Well, if it isn’t the Spencers, from Judge Parker! To be honest, I lost interest in this strip after the mass “Breast-Reduction Surgeries of ’17” (new artist, new writer and all), and it seems that it’s turned into a comedified War and Peace. There are times, however, when it’s worth slogging through all. the. words (look at all of ’em!)…

Hey, look….it’s the genuine Judge Parker himself…and having a lousy holiday season, too!

All we have to do now is wait…

Looks like Sophie’s off to college, but not bidding her dead old grandpa a fond farewell…

In retrospect, it’s a good thing that Abby only ADOPTED the girls…

That’s right…the Spencers! And all of the cast of Juggs Parker!

And why is that?

Because the plots are turgid! At least Sophie is wallowing in self-pity and teen-age angst and…and…well, Sophie’s the same as she ever was, too.

…but it’s a pretty good still life for the funny pages!

Now clean up this mess, Marie. You haven’t forgotten how to clean up the kitchen already, have you, Marie?

So I’m really trying to limit myself to a select few comic strips (Rex Morgan, Mary Worth, Mark Trail) for mashability, but it seems that Judge Parker is going to the Big House (aka, the Slammer). The administrators of justice generally have No Luck there, and it looks like good luck is not going his way.
At least if I got to tell the story.

…that how long it’s been since my last Judge Parker mashup.  Well, at least Randy Parker and his super-spy fiance’e have gotten married, and the reception (always the best part of a wedding) is in full swing.  (Oh, the guy who looks like Hunter S. Thompson isn’t …he’s Randy’s new father-in-law.)

In more ways than one.

Remember the Judge Parker storyline where Judge Alan runs into his first novel’s ruthless critic on a cruise ship?

No, neither do I.  To be fair, the last time I dealt with the Parkerverse, it was 22 October, so who can blame any of us who have real lives?

Anyway, Alan had just revealed himself to the critic, and in a frighteningly swift turn of events, everything seems to be resolved in just three strips!  I am not making this up.  I can only hope something new comes down the turnpike — Judge Pissyface, we hardly knew ye.

…and no, in spite of all my twisting and turning and mashing and mauling,  that expression on Judge Parker’s face, and his exact quote are Woody Wilson’s, not mine! Ain’t it GREAT?!?? 

Let the games begin!

Squeeeee! (in a completely evil type of way!)

…there’s always room for doubt.  And since this is the Judge’s second or eighth marriage or something…

And then, there are just times you should skip all those fancy-schmancy dinners at the captain’s table.  You never know who’ll you run into!