That’s right…the Spencers! And all of the cast of Juggs Parker!

And why is that?

Because the plots are turgid! At least Sophie is wallowing in self-pity and teen-age angst and…and…well, Sophie’s the same as she ever was, too.

…but it’s a pretty good still life for the funny pages!

Now clean up this mess, Marie. You haven’t forgotten how to clean up the kitchen already, have you, Marie?

So I’m really trying to limit myself to a select few comic strips (Rex Morgan, Mary Worth, Mark Trail) for mashability, but it seems that Judge Parker is going to the Big House (aka, the Slammer). The administrators of justice generally have No Luck there, and it looks like good luck is not going his way.
At least if I got to tell the story.

…that how long it’s been since my last Judge Parker mashup.  Well, at least Randy Parker and his super-spy fiance’e have gotten married, and the reception (always the best part of a wedding) is in full swing.  (Oh, the guy who looks like Hunter S. Thompson isn’t …he’s Randy’s new father-in-law.)

In more ways than one.

Remember the Judge Parker storyline where Judge Alan runs into his first novel’s ruthless critic on a cruise ship?

No, neither do I.  To be fair, the last time I dealt with the Parkerverse, it was 22 October, so who can blame any of us who have real lives?

Anyway, Alan had just revealed himself to the critic, and in a frighteningly swift turn of events, everything seems to be resolved in just three strips!  I am not making this up.  I can only hope something new comes down the turnpike — Judge Pissyface, we hardly knew ye.

…and no, in spite of all my twisting and turning and mashing and mauling,  that expression on Judge Parker’s face, and his exact quote are Woody Wilson’s, not mine! Ain’t it GREAT?!?? 

Let the games begin!

Squeeeee! (in a completely evil type of way!)

…there’s always room for doubt.  And since this is the Judge’s second or eighth marriage or something…

And then, there are just times you should skip all those fancy-schmancy dinners at the captain’s table.  You never know who’ll you run into!

AND IN THE SAME STORYLINE!!

Are we excited because this shows an expert understanding of outlining a riveting plot? Or that it plunges into a multi-faceted, multi-themed story? Or that it explores its characters with a surprising incisiveness?

Nope. It just means Judge Pissyface it back…YAY!

…international terrorist/kidnapping plots are still not funny. Or interesting.

I wonder how Judge Pissyface is doing.

All my favorite serial comics.  Nothing going on in any of them. Zip. Nada. Zilch.

Sooo….we cut ’em apart, toss ’em in a fishbowl, and try to get lucky, like a good, old-fashioned ’60s “key” party.