Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

And could Aunt Tildy? (It would be so much better than waiting hand-and-foot on her injured old wrestling husband, Count Andreyeaidntrv, or something like that.

…or Li’l Sara and her two imbecilic brothers! (This didn’t turn out any better when June allowed Rex to cook something.)

Okay, so it’s a drag we had to poison Candy the dog but it sure adds excitement to Rex and June’s dull lives!

“We paid for all these vet clinic sets, and we’re gonn USE them!”

Did she? Or didn’t she? I for one, do not care…

Whew! It looks like it’s all sunshine and rainbows and doggy-do bags at the Morgan Mansion again…

And it’s back to the hospital for Rex (“damn!” he thinks, “I’m always at the darn hospital!”)

….we;ll never be rid of Rex Morgan, M.D. (no matter how much of a dip he is.)

Even if that fraud Rene may come to a miserable end…

…and any assistance appears to be far, far away (and not at all willing to help)…

(Oh, Rex…you’re still a soft touch!)

Days pass…

And in case I might’ve missed this…

As this story grinds to an end, we visit a couple of the Morgans’ elderly friends, already in mid-grind:

Rex to the “Rex-cue”! (snort)

Good old Rex “I’ve got an angle” Morgan…

“The Count” meets and is intrigued by his old TV hero, “The Arizona Kid”…

The Count learns some lessons from an old cow poke (and Mike Nelson is right…a winged scooter is mighty fine!):

…’specially when you can git a little bit more Altitude fer yer Attitude!

I don’t know how long this will hold my interest, but Rex and June heard fireworks in their tony neighborhood during the Fourth of July and just had to check it out (well, it sounded like someone got it in the keister)…

And just remember…

Rex decides to go for it and begin doing surgeries at the hospital!

And just when Mud is trying to be good, here comes sleazy art-con Rene!

The two Masters of the Finger…our heroic, doltish Rex and the constant villain, Rene! Gentlemen, start your phalanges!

Mud’s accountant reminded me of someone, in a weird way…

Rene turns himself into the cops! He’s a reformed man! The Good Citizens hear of it on TV and are confused…is it real or just some sort of hokum? And while you’ve heard of “gaslighting,” what the hell is “lampshading?!??

A couple of older minor characters, Hank and Yvonne, have gotten married and are now on an ocean honeymoon. BUT a longtime baddie, Rene the Swindler, is also on board and would take everyone for a ride, if it weren’t for hin recognizing Hank (and knowing Hank would take him to justice).
[Gads, isn’t that a lot of words just for a cheap snark? I wouldn’t have said anything. BUT it’s on a cruise! At NIGHT! And BAD THINGS can happen at night on a cruise! Just ask Mary Worth (Rex Morgan is nowhere to be seen…)]

An astonishing disguise!

Do something! He’s getting away!

With all these “accidents,” bear in mind there are Those People who are called to the sea…a siren’s song that makes them go willingly, like a salmon returning to the natal creek of its birth, or a sea tortoise, swimming thousands of miles around the world, only to return and lay eggs where her own mother dumped her load years before…

The dude in the bow-tie? Who cares? He only wants to detract from the true lure of the ocean,,,the mantra of the mermaid…what a maroon! Who needs cheap chicanery when Those People long to be full fathoms deep (around July 2012)…

Mud Mountain (aka Fergus) can be touchy-feely, New Agey of Aquarius, or Zen all that he wants, but Yvonne is a little more pragmatic of the tragedy that could be unfolding on the high seas…

So Rene is unmasked, but does he regret his villainous ways? Maybe he should just relocate…

Meanwhile, there’s a high school graduation going on…with future plans and everything!

Return with us now to those thrilling days of Middle Earth, or at least to someone who looks kinda like a resident….

Eh, probably not.

Oh, yeah, I’m supposed to have my own place, not sponging off folks…

I guess people flock to June because she has a kind face. And isn’t a complete dunce like Rex.

June CANNOT catch a break; on the other hand..

It’s time for a little gerontology!

Kinda like an annual prostate exam…

As Tildy experiences a medical emergency on the way to the hospital…

Given Rex’s wearknesses, it could be Tildy, or Mary Worth…

And don’t you figure that Rex’s leisure time will be spoiled by some big, fat, no-talent talent?!??

While June cleverly absents herself from this train-wreck of has-been singers, Rex does the best he can!

Still, Rex is not easily deterred (mo’ money! mo’money! mo’ money!).

Mud was faking his heart attack/diarrhea blowout/attempt to play as the headliner! If that’s not bad enough, Rex works hard to preserve his medical image…

Rex’s true calling…

So a bogus art teacher is attempting to blakmail the Morgan…whatever will they do?!??

Excitement builds (then again, this is Rex Morgan…)!

New Adventure! Comic Book creator’s wife has a baby! Sarah angles for another baby in the house!

Hey, Sawah…don’r you have schoolwork or masturbation or something to keep you occupied?

How about some interest (yeah, yeah, curb your excitement) for Rex’s new patient…a vigilante? It’s the Street Sweeper! (How stupid is that???) Even the other ne’er-do-wells in Morganville think this is lame.

Could it be these thugs are more interesting than Morgan and Family? Quite possibly.

When the “Street Sweeper” sends the bad guys running, he has to find something…or someone…to keep his hard work noticeable to John Q. Public…like a drunk planning on DRIVING!!!

Drunks are more fun to deal with than dyed-in-the-wool thugs!

It’s always Monday somewhere…

Most folks don’t realize how sympathetic and caring Rex really is…

It’s tough being a low-life thug…

I mean it!

Time to call DR. REX MORGAN!!

Dr. Morgan always knows the correct response…

Estelle finally succumbs to Wilbutt’s charms, or at least his check book.

Wow…some REAL cruising plans!

And just think what will happen when they get back from their cruise…

Meanwhile, the farewells just keep on coming…

The cruise is just SO exciting, especially the cough-wrapped melon slices!

Brunch AND mid-morning kakaoke!

Back at the old homestead!

And then, back at the old COVID reservoir!

GASP!

Of course, neither Wilbutt nor Karen Moy, master story-teller, will accept the answer, but for one brief, shining moment, we can say, YES! YES! YES!

And Tina Wood of FB’s RotCC suggested this fall-down and swallow-your-tongue-it’s-so-funny (I tweaked the Photoshopping part a bit):

Y’know, Tina’s is just funnier:

And for those readers who hope beyond hope that Wilbutt meets up with Sailing Songstress Esme (she was on a cruise that I missed in 2017):

…but it was at a nearby parking garage and it didn’t disrupt the roof-top wedding of one of the staff at the Morgan clinic. The guests have gone downstairs for the dinner reception and the cutting of the cake, and that’s when things go kablooey! (Priorities, you know…)

I’ve been avoiding Rex Morgan for a long time because of its boring plots (such as they are)…but who doesn’t love a good, no-holds-barred wedding?

Yup. After all these years, Rex remains a hopeless twit, only managing to outwir his lame offspring.

Another day, another return to suburban hell:

Twp old “buddies” meat meet up…