Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

…and Dawn Weston is just another Beetle Bailey.  Rather than get all emotional (like some one-armed guys we know), it’s nice to see how intellectually Dawn is approaching this dilemma, AND using her collegiate experience to help!

And you know? I think that things are really going to turn out for the best here: Dawn will find happiness, Wilbur will be happy for her, and Jim — well, as soon as he gets over these little snits, he’ll be fine, too.  Let’s go fly a kite! Everyone loves that, right?

It’s been a while since we’ve caught up with Kit Walker.  Then again, he’s been hot on the very slow trail of the Phantom Lioness.  Is the Lioness a hoax dreamed up by the white devil miners to gain access to Llongo land? A trick plotted by the village elders to discredit Queen Hottie’s progressive agenda?

I don’t know.  All I know is that the plot is glacial, pretty impressive stuff for a strip located in sub-Saharan Africa.  Good hunting, O User of Over-the-Counter Bandar Medicine!

…when Sam Driver only gets his cut of the movie contract Huge Bucks?!?  Have we gone back to the USSR and its unrelenting Communism?!?

…and not just because I’ve met Bob Weber, Jr., and he could probably seek me out and smack me upside the head if he had a mind to (he lives in the same greater metropolitan area that I do).  I’m currently slogging through Life of Pi, by Martel Yann, in anticipation of seeing the new movie.  Part of the story takes place in the Pacific, where a cargo ship with a load of zoo animals sinks in a storm: the hero of the story, Pi Patel, must share a lifeboat with a huge tiger.  And here, not only is Slylock in the midst of a vicious storm at sea, but today’s “How to Draw” features a tiger.  A TIGER, people! Is this like Kismet, or Brigadoon, or what?!?

…I just don’t think it’s very funny.  Well, I did my best here (and I have to credit the strip for providing me with Scoopy, the Surly Sundae):

Just a friendly warning…

But then, even the meekest and milque-toasty of people can finally bust a cog and realize that they’ve just had it up to here with Mary and her platitudes…

(Where can I get one of those transparent lab coats?)

That’s all I’m sayin’…

Apparently ghost-writing for the “Dear Busybody” column in the Santa Royale Penny Shopper has taken up a lot more of Mary’s time than any of us realize.  It seems that even Dawn has to make an appointment to ask her for advice, but Mary being who she is, can still turn on the hospitality with a nice hearty slice of something.  (No, really…it’s something, and we’re just not quite sure what it is.)

Oh. And speaking of turning on…

Oh, and watch out, Rex Morgan…looks like there may be a new DOCTOR on the block!

…but I think Mark would agree that getting everything (and I do mean everything) out in the open is an excellent examples of  “Honesty is the best policy.”

Let’s see…first Billy is going to beat the crap out of Jeffy. Instant gratification.

Later, Billy is going to steal all of Jeffy’s Christmas haul.  Delayed gratification (but still satisfying).

We’ll see you in Sheriff Arpaio pink prison duds in a few years, Billy.  Enjoy the free life while you can!

You know, I felt rather sorry for Jeffy in the original strip and my mashup. I feel somewhat better now:

Kinda rockin’ the Cagney attitude…