Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

…then an octopus. Or a millipede. Or a centipede. If only it were more interesting.
Let’s see what Mason Jarr is up to now, with “Lisa’s Interminable Story” taking a break…

So, Los Angeles is burning to the ground. Everyone is trying to escape. We know Les (joy unbounded) and Mariann, the actress playing Lisa, are safe in a marina somewhere on Mason Jarr’s boat. Aren’t you glad that in spite of thousands of people in danger, that Les is safe? (Insert gagging noise here.)

Maybe LA will go up in flames. Maybe the pandemic will kill 80% of the population. Maybe the actress won’t buy Les’ crap.

And yer out, Les!

And now, we have Comic Book artist’s (or more truthfully, “drawer”) girl friend’s dad trapped up in the Hollywood foothills with his imagined childhood…um….child, both of them about to be incinerated by the biggest fire in California history! I suspect that Tom Batshitcrazy is just going to end the Funky Winkerbean strip by methodically killing all of his characters off…

Please make it be the end. I don’t care who’s alive and who’s dead…

Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease…

…but HOW?!??

When you can’t even snark at a comic strip (or at least, not much):

And just when you think things might be getting better…

You know it’s true…Toby is going to meet Madi! And how the Platitudes will flow, like tears in the rain…

On our way to see Toby and her cooking disaster…

Of course, Facebook’s Alan Fisher suddenly complicates the matter…
“That wasn’t the deal!”
“I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.”
And for those following along in their “Empire Strikes Out” coloring book:

Face it…Big Daddy and Thel are too cheap to take the Melonheads anywhere on vacation:

And Drama in Real Life!!! All I know is that eight or so train cars derailed on the train trestle in Tempe, Arizona, yesterday morning (29 July 2020). It’s reported that a car with hazardous material did not spill into the popular Tempe town lake below. I also know that Tempe isn’t that far from the Keane Kompound…

“Can the animals in Family Circus really talk?” you may ask. And I say, “Judge for yourself.”

We’re ALL Pluggers this time of year…

And how Bruce wants to see ALL the customers in his store:

…I won’t say that they’re a sad little bunch. But nothing says that I can’t think it.

Meanwhile, Luann’s friends Bets and Gunth are shooting a cosplay video, because they have even less to do with themselves and totally miss the point of Les’ sarcasm.

Oh, boy….what fun (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)…

…which is looking suspiciously like a number of previous ones.

As if we didn’t know…introducing Mary Worth, Crappy Guidance Counselor!

Mary continues her blathering, bu t even she realizes that sometimes a different tack ought to be tried…

Come ON! What we all need is a little recreation as we all lounge poolside! And Mary’s on board with it!

And if we’re NOT going to have an honest-to-God pool party, but just splash in the pool, then the heck with you, says I! You don’t even deserve a whole Sunday comic!

Someone over at Facebook’s Comics Readers of the Comics Curmudgeon (yes, it was Fritz Goebel) suggested that Madi needed a love interest to take her mind off her problems…he even suggested the perfect paramour!

I dunno…

This may not be as easy as Mary expects…but she’s always been up to challenge!

Mary 1 Madi 0…Mary’s got the little brat crying!

And we’re up to Mary 2 Madi 0…plus a trip to the Emergency Room!

And it’s a sweep….Mary takes the tourney!

Time to head back into the condo, so Madi can hurl on Mary’s priceless Oriental Rug…

Please be the end. Please.

There’s going to be a sensational movie made! About one of Mark’s sensational nature adventures! Featuring one of Hollywood’s sensational stars! Anything’s gotta be better than the Funky Winkerbean drek…

Wanna talk about weird? James Allen, who we all knew was going to leave Mark Trail (which involved a long, rather ugly back-story) has apparently left in late July, in the midst of the making of a the sensational movie of Mark’s life (and the star of the film desperately needs a drink, too!)! It’s like leaving that goofball cryptozoologist on the top of Mount Everest…HAW HAW!
So now what? Apparently the Syndicate(tm) is running an old Jack Elrod-era story! As if the previous two months had never happened! As if Rusty wasn’t outgrowing his strange, misshapen form!
Some people may just sit by…but not this someone! Is it a real repeated story…or something more sinister? Have you found yourself wondering what has happened to Dawn Weston and her two paramours? I’ve wondered (even if I couldn’t remember what Pepe le Pew’s actual name was). I think the mystery unfolds in Lost Forest…

So, Andy finds the abandoned little cat and takes her home. Cherry and Mark welcome “Tabby” into their Lost Forest home. I like this.

Of course, some dumb animals just don’t want to be friends. Or lunch.

There is a startling resemblance…

And sometimes, it’s nice to just sit around and reminisce…

Wild dogs loose in Lost Forest!!! And still, Tabby has a hankerin’ to ge exploring. (What? You thought Johnny Malotte was the only Frenchman in Lost Forest??? Au contraire!)

And we’re off on the road to Morocco (or Disneyland, or Wally World, or Gramma’s house…)

Plugger Love…

And Amos and Edda still have about the squinkiest (not necessarily in a good way) strip in the comics! Some things never change.
(And all I did was change the words in the last panel.)
(But I wonder what is happening in Panel 3 that is making Amos’ myopic eyes bug out…)

Ah, the two lovebirds (I think they’re called “twits”) go on. and on. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end…

And when you just can’t take a cartoonist (or artist. or Artiste.) drawing any more writhing undulations drolleries of his nymph of a daughter the two main characters in his strip, you may as well launch her into another strip (Take two opttions — Mark’s tough, he ca take it!