Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

(or, 100% Turkey Leg-Free!)

Sure, we laugh at Jughead dire pronouncement at a piece of food and snicker at Dr. Fleurrie’s apparently court-appointed attorney, but THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS when real Legal Eagles like Alan Parker and son, Sam Driver, and other members of a respectable cartoon law firm disappear!  Justice becomes a mockery!

Although it’s becoming fairly evident that Fleurrie has all the common sense of a bean burrito…

Are all the women in the Brookiverse beautiful? Of course.

Are all of them articulate and well-educated?  Why, yes! Uh, no. Uh, I’m not su—ohshutupandleavemealone! *SOB!*

Edda and Amos are two of the protagonists in 9 Chickweed Lane.  They’re in love.  They’re engaged. And aside from the two thought balloons added and the dialog in the final panel changed, it’s clear to see how very, very devoted they are to one another.

…veterinarian Fleurrie is still being wooed by hunky gay brunet Seth straight blonde Sven.  It’s too much to hope that someone ends up sleeping with the fishes…

Yeah. Whatever.

So, this laff riot has been going on for months (maybe two weeks) with (1) gawking at Sven, (2) taking a chilly dip in the pond, and (3) Sven cannonballing into the pond.  Oh, don’t forget the witty Burber bon mots.

In other words–boring as hell.

Can anyone rescue us from these precious, precious pieces of Art?

YES!!! It’s none other than…

GARBAGE APE! (No, I am not making this up…check out  Heathcliff, 30 May 2013. I cannot explain it, but I’m awfully glad it happened…)

The sweet kitty’s back!  And although it was a little tricky trying to figure out if she was yawning or yammering (in typical Siamese style), it’s likely the latter.  (Close captioning provided by Friends Like You.)

Moon Maid returns to Dick Tracyland!  Evidently, she died in a car crash years ago when I wasn’t reading the strip so I really don’t have a good idea what’s going on, and during her recent return, she’s been mysteriously swathed while her exotic alien features are reconstructed.  I always liked her, just because she had antennae, and so here’s hoping for the best on her recovery…

Or maybe a little better…

Oh, hell, who are we kidding?  Do they still have side shows at circuses?

I like much of what BMcE draws (mostly), I like less of what he thinks/writes, but dang, I love his cats! And while I’ve *enhanced* this strip, nothing is sweeter than the vet keeesing the kitty! Lovely.

I think it’s something like “city boy who knows lots of big words and absolutely nothing about animal husbandry (other than the term “animal husbandry” makes him giggle like an eight-year-old girl because is sounds dirty).”

Yep, farmers with a one-cow herd regularly pound upon it because it improves productivity tremendously.  Ask any cow.

While we’re at it, maybe we can ask any mermaid (like the one in Pibgorn), or better yet, any surly sundae…

And a special shout-out to a lot of good folks at The Comics Curmudgeon who know far, far more about animal production, animal science, animal health science, and animal cookies than BMcE could ever hope to.

…but instead get what we really deserve.

Sometimes it’s just best to ask for underwear. Plain ol’ white underwear.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas, folks!