Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

…but I have to do two mashups of today’s Mary Worth…the Power of Mary compels me…

I almost got to claim “First!” on the one above. I am evidently not in Mary’s good graces.  Well, then…suffer, bitch:

Like Pilate, I was going to wash my hands of the current/eternal/endless Mary Worth story,  especially since it had devolved into a full-blown Kneel-Down-and-Worship-Me extravaganza, complete with all Glory, Laud and Honor.

But hey…one more for the Godhead, whichever one it is.

I’m fairly sure that I’ve posted this before, but hey…IT’S MARY WORTH!

We might not be worthy, but she’ll help us…

…maybe there will be a POOL PARTY!

Nah.

Meanwhile, CC’s queek discovers that this ubiquitous disappointment extends even as far as Lost Forest.  Of course, they’d only showed up for the salmon squares:

Why is it, when there’s absolutely nothing of interest going on in Mary Worth, I feel compelled to mash on it?

Does this count as Mystery of the Ages #29?

Nope, not yet.  But at least we know the nuts don’t fall very far from the tree…

And the only good Pippa is Princess Katherine’s sexy, sexy sister.

Anyway, if you live on the Internet or only visit, write your Congressmen and tell them that SOPA and PIPA are wretched ideas.  Heck, why are they supporting it when it’s being promoted by the MPAA, and those wastrels who make society-damaging movies? (Oh, yeah, we’re talking about Congressmen.)

You know when a certain somebody is more of a Luddite than I am (and you might recall her kicking and screaming when Jeff tried suggesting she might find an electronic reader like the Krindle or the Snook enjoyable):

that this certain somebody likely has some strong stupid opinions about this alphabet soup of crap being debated:

Mary Worth is still prattling on about saving a little kidnapped girl! And idiot Jeff continues to heap the praise upon her.

Of course, this leaves us to assume that Emily was actually returned home and still isn’t sitting in The Diner, waiting for the Ice Cream That Will Never Come.  Maybe we’ll see her in Weenie World, as she scavenges for scraps, since no one told her how to get home. Eh, not Mary’s problem.

I’d like to think that she came to a happier end:

I’m at a loss as to what Mary Worth could get so riled up about.  Is it possible that words would actually FAIL her and she resorts to the Fisticuffs of Pique (a la Mark Trail’s Fist of Justice)?  The mere idea is rather chilling, since it appears no one is safe!

Oh, heck…I should’ve realized that the denouement was just going to drag on and on…forget it, Toby — it’s Charterstone! I’m just tacking on the rest of the story here (“And that’s the rest of the story!” — Paul Harvey):

Maybe Monday will bring us New Adventures (because Heaven knows Sunday didn’t!):

In case anyone cared, the Santa Royale Police Department (all two of them) finally responded to Mary Worth’s 911 call.   The best part is doing as the Comics Curmudgeon himself, Josh F., suggests, and imagining “Yackety Sax” playing in the background during the harrowing chase of kidnapper Thuggie McTug.   Otherwise, this pretty much sums it up:

We’re all pretty sure poor little Emily never got her rainbow swirl ice cream, either.  Bastards.