Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

For three days in early November,  the comic strip Zits decided to parody the comic strip love is… . Now, to my way of thinking, Zits isn’t that funny, and love is… has never been funny, but maybe a blend of the two would make the sum greater than its parts.

It’s called heterosis,  or “hybrid vigor” in genetics and plant and animal breeding.

Heterosis apparently does not exist in the comics world, although at least one newspaper in Illinois refused to run the second and third “love isn’t…” strips after getting complaints about the first one.  (That’s pretty funny!)

Anyway, maybe a Zits x love is… cross just wasn’t the right mix.   I hope Gregor Mendel would be pleased with this:

How exciting is this?  Scott, coming out of his coma?  This could only be topped by Jeff, coming out of …well, you know:

And this panel just kills me:

Scott’s emergence from his coma sets some sort of speed record for anything happening in Mary Worth, too! What a guy!

And now that Scott’s conscious, there’s another person to join the endless Moebius loop of yammering.  Joy unbouded.

(Some folks at The Comics Curmudgeon thought that Adrian’s “happy face” looked a little too anime (I thought she looked like Wednesday Addams smiling in Addams Family Values, which is pretty much Creepy Deluxe).  So here’s an attempt at mangifying Dr. Cory):

Theory 1:  With all the bedside manner being administered to Det. Scott by Drs. Jeff and Adrian, Mary’s a little at loose ends — it’s the end of October, a little late for a pool party, a little early  for Yuletide meddling (heavens! never before Thanksgiving!).  What’s a biddy to do?

Theory 2:  In spite of gator poaching going on all around them, Mark and Rusty are going to spend an uneventfuly final night in Lost Swamp, and Mark’s mighty fists will go unpunched. What’s a champion of justice to do?

Theory 3:  Cue the cute little dog!

The Ghost-Who-Mourns continues to do just that.  Something must be done!, thinks President (and BFF) Lamanda:

Adrian finally escapes Mary’s clutches (on the pretense of “talking to Scott”), only to find her father already in what seems to be deep, deep conversation with her fragile fiance:

And until Rex Morgan returns to his rightful place (in his own $*#$&*# comic!), I’ll be forced to snark Mary Worth unmercifully thanks for the gift basket, though!):

And this is just a throwaway.  The touch on the arm, the meaningful, if haggard and worn, look, the utter schmaltz of it all, just reminded me of this:

Even if you’re a Total Fan of Mary Worth and Her Platitudes, the last week has been quite a slog.  I thought a bit of a respite from the Monday through Saturday strips was in order:

Sure, that made me feel better, only to realize that the Sunday strip was a complete repeat of the weekly ones!  Oh, Mary, you really, really need a break. And perhaps I know just the person who could provide one for you:

Even if there were, I’m feeling much better now:

Well, heck, maybe even Adrian is feeling a little better now, too:

Sunday’s Mary Worth culminates with a recap of Jeff’s heart-rending soliloquy to Scott.   Scott remains unconscious. Maybe Jeff needs to work on his bedside manner.

I mean, just because you’re unconscious doesn’t mean you can’t appreciate some positive vibes, like some happy talk and a sweet smile. Or even a sexy, sexy one:

Come back, Rex Morgan!

And we can only hope that it’s Adrian trilling this.

Of course, all indicators point to Dr. Jeff planning to open his heart to Scott.

Or do they?

I must admit, the October 16 strip is rather poignant. Jeff is indeed having a heart-to-heart tête-à-tête mano a mano with Scott.  I think what’s most moving is how absolutely stark Scott’s hospital room — it’s a pity Santa Royale’s medical system hasn’t upgraded its patient facilities since 1943!

Still, does a shabby environment condone bad behavior?!?

And, of course, the disgusting climax (ahem):