Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

I don’t know if this is going to develop into an irregular canonization of various and sundry comic characters, but dang! Mary Worth sure has a knack for interior design that allows even a simple mirror to elevate her to saintly status.

For the moment, enjoy one saint Mass card.

And, wouldn’t you know it, saints do pop up from time to time. (No, Mary, you’re not the only saint in the ocean…or sea…or heaven…whatever.)

Wow, Mary’s not the only venerable person in her strip.  Of course, she’s the only saint material, but Dr. Adrian Cory, Jeff’s daughter, Drew’s sister, and a doctor in her own right (I think she graduated from Rex Morgan’s alma mater) has her own small cult that campaigns vigorously for her canonization.  After all, how many virgin saints do you see these days?

Nahhh, that really isn’t the zip code for Santa Royale. If it were, the front page of the daily paper wouldn’t be splashed with a photo of a couple of old farts eating at an Olive Garden knock-off. Not that photos like that don’t raise the dander of some of the local citizens.

Like Jeff Corey, seeing his gal-pal Mary out on the town with (gasp!) another man! Well, all we can say to him is take it easy, sport…Santa Royale isn’t so small that other indiscretions aren’t noted in the dailies:

Dang it! I thought with Dr. Jeff out of the picture, we might be treated to some hot Metamucilicious action with Mary and her new beau. But instead of playing footsie in a swank eatery and toasting each other with a bottle of Asti Spumanti, Ron and Mary are talking about his new political career…town council, no less! Wow, Ron, maybe next time you can run for the thrilling post of dog-catcher!

I just have to find the action wherever I can.

Okay, I’m pretty pleased with this. While Mary and Jeff are “taking some time apart” (or whatever the hell Mary is rationalizing it as) and Edda and Amos in 9 Chickweed Lane have called it quits, Ted and Sally Forth’s own relationship is being tested. While it isn’t heading for the rocks, maybe “some time apart” would also benefit them.

Of course, getting back into the dating pool can be a little nerve-wracking. I hope Mary is wearing her water-wings and nose clip!

Ned Ryerson from CC noticed that there’s an eeeeerie similarity between Aldo’s stomping out of Mary Worth’s apartment and Jeff’s stomping out of her well-appointed domicile. A coincidence? A portent of things to come? The prescribed hand gesture of farewell, as set down in the Charterstone CCRs? The world may never know…

Wow! Out, out, damned Jeff! Where will the Mary Worth storyline go now?

Of course, this is the obvious path, but hey, this ain’t Dostoevsky!

It’s getting to be a real horse-race, with Rex and Mary fighting it out for mashup attention. This particular panel was done as a result from some of Dingo’s (from CC) musings about it being improved by editing some of the language and putting drinks into Mary and Dr. Jeff’s hands.

Sweet, sweet booze.

And wouldn’t you know, Dingo’s right!

(Kids, don’t try this at home. Mary is a trained professional!) Long story short: someone at CC pleaded for snark, as her daughter was engrossed in watching Titanic, and it was down to the final 45 minutes of schmaltzy goodness. Mary and her appendage came to the rescue, fingering at least one guilty party.

I may not be a huge fan of Mary, but she’s Gandhi compared to Celine…

Poor, delusional Jeff, thinking he can wield The Finger just like Mary! He might be a doctor, but that hardly matters — The Finger, like its close cousin, The Hairy Eyeball, is rooted in the mists and mysteries of time and space. And those who are Masters of it consider upstarts contemptible, to say the least…