Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

Please be Monkey pox…please be Monkey pox…

And just in case, the Keane Konglomerate refuses the News in the 21st Century:

Then again, kids pushing ALL the buttons in an elevator is always a laff riot:

A cheap Keane shout-out to “China Lil’s,” a restaurant in Scottsdale, AS that ran 1960-1969. It was run by Jack Song. And now you know how old this comice has been run. And Re-run. Again and again and again.

Even if you lose a few along the way, Thel, the majority in the Supreme Court will guarantee you continue popping out Melonheads until you hit menopause…

Maybe they’re going to do some gardening…

Jeffy’s a regular effin’ Boy Scout…always helping!

Meanwhile, Real Life Jeffy hangs wit’ his homies at San Diego Comic-con. Dorks.

Still, Jeffy doubts so much around him.

In the meantime, there’s always a commercial bonanza…Father’s Day!

Well, I think we’ve found Thel’s one remaining nerve…

At least the Kentucky Derby is wholesome fun. Maybe the Keanes ought to buy a horse.

And the kids get fed up with their Big Daddy…

Too bad you can’t teach Jeffy a damned thing, Bil…

It’s not like Mommy gets away unscathed, either…

In the world of ART, there’s always more!

The grownups are starting to suspect that the “Keane Gremlins” are not so much a whimsical fantasy for their offspring as lazy options for the Melonheads…

Happy Monday, Mommy! Good thing that Dolly’s on patrol:

We’re witnessing the birth of a comics genius, I tell you…

I’ve always suspected that Dolly isn’t quite right.
And Jeffy is just plain stupid.

Well, after a very special weekend, poor, downtrodden Jeffy realizes that HE’S the favorite one of the Melonheads…way to go, Jeffy!

Fun with Grandma
(minus Dolly, PJ, Big Daddy Bil and Thel)

Shopping with Grandma, Take 1:

Shopping wit Grandma, Take 2:

At least Billy didn’t mention a baseball bat…

Saddled with the melonheads at home. Again. Thel does what she can…

All the while, (mostly) looking out for her offspring…

Why Grandma is better than Mommy, Exhibit C:

Not all the Melonheads hate Mommy, though…

Dream big, Melonheads!

It’s The Birds all over again…

The bird is still in the house. Yeah, it wants to die.

Big Daddy and Thel go off on vacation, but not before other plans are made….

…what the hell happened to Thel’s eyes? AND BARFY’S?????

Maybe this was the reason that Billy Keane didn’t inherit the Family Circus legacy of humor and half-assed fun.

God, you’re stupid, Dolly. Let’s hope you never got into medical school.

And Mommy needs to take it easy an slow down a bit, too.

That’s telling him, Jeffy…

And poor, dumb Jeffy jus can’t catch a break…

One Big Effin’ Fambly…

Dolly the Scientist!

Just wondering…what happened to Dolly and PJ?

…so we should always listen to our elders:

Mondays always get Billy down…

What passes for entertainment/catechism at the Keane Kompound:

Nothing ever goes as planned.

The old habits return soon after Christmas….

When every new year looks just like the old years…

Well, the wish for an increased I.Q. for the new year didn’t materialize.

Fun at IKEA/Target/Wal-mart/anywhere Jeffy just has to pee…

You just keep telling yourself that.

Of course, it’s up to the parents to teach them what they need to know…

Remember: without eternal vigilance, it can happen here!

Gramma’s just pissed off, because her similar “career” was waylaid by bunions.

It was a fun Thanksgiving, only Jeffy hoarding the wishbone so that he could be assured some good luck. I wounded like it was in the bag…

Awww, ain’t this sweet? And why don’t we ever see the Keanes’ “Bunny Rabbit” hopping merrily around the Kompound?

It’s beginning to look a lot like you-know-what…

…or something. (And I appropriated this from several Curmudgeons, too!)

They may be Catholic, but evolution is longer than 6000 years…

Jeffy could’ve been a superhero, only he’s just too damned stupid.

Thel’s a little slow the first thing in the morning, but after that first cuppa joe…WATCH OUT!

You know that’s the sweat shirt that fits Big Daddy to a T…

Looks like Mommy and Daddy needed an out tonight…

to be honest, Dolly, we’ve promised this for Jeffy’s trousseau.