Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

The grownups are starting to suspect that the “Keane Gremlins” are not so much a whimsical fantasy for their offspring as lazy options for the Melonheads…

Happy Monday, Mommy! Good thing that Dolly’s on patrol:

We’re witnessing the birth of a comics genius, I tell you…

I’ve always suspected that Dolly isn’t quite right.
And Jeffy is just plain stupid.

Well, after a very special weekend, poor, downtrodden Jeffy realizes that HE’S the favorite one of the Melonheads…way to go, Jeffy!

Fun with Grandma
(minus Dolly, PJ, Big Daddy Bil and Thel)

Shopping with Grandma, Take 1:

Shopping wit Grandma, Take 2:

At least Billy didn’t mention a baseball bat…

Saddled with the melonheads at home. Again. Thel does what she can…

All the while, (mostly) looking out for her offspring…

Why Grandma is better than Mommy, Exhibit C:

Not all the Melonheads hate Mommy, though…

Dream big, Melonheads!

It’s The Birds all over again…

The bird is still in the house. Yeah, it wants to die.

Big Daddy and Thel go off on vacation, but not before other plans are made….

…what the hell happened to Thel’s eyes? AND BARFY’S?????

Maybe this was the reason that Billy Keane didn’t inherit the Family Circus legacy of humor and half-assed fun.

God, you’re stupid, Dolly. Let’s hope you never got into medical school.

And Mommy needs to take it easy an slow down a bit, too.

That’s telling him, Jeffy…

And poor, dumb Jeffy jus can’t catch a break…

One Big Effin’ Fambly…

Dolly the Scientist!

Just wondering…what happened to Dolly and PJ?

…so we should always listen to our elders:

Mondays always get Billy down…

What passes for entertainment/catechism at the Keane Kompound:

Nothing ever goes as planned.

The old habits return soon after Christmas….

When every new year looks just like the old years…

Well, the wish for an increased I.Q. for the new year didn’t materialize.

Fun at IKEA/Target/Wal-mart/anywhere Jeffy just has to pee…

You just keep telling yourself that.

Of course, it’s up to the parents to teach them what they need to know…

Remember: without eternal vigilance, it can happen here!

Gramma’s just pissed off, because her similar “career” was waylaid by bunions.

It was a fun Thanksgiving, only Jeffy hoarding the wishbone so that he could be assured some good luck. I wounded like it was in the bag…

Awww, ain’t this sweet? And why don’t we ever see the Keanes’ “Bunny Rabbit” hopping merrily around the Kompound?

It’s beginning to look a lot like you-know-what…

…or something. (And I appropriated this from several Curmudgeons, too!)

They may be Catholic, but evolution is longer than 6000 years…

Jeffy could’ve been a superhero, only he’s just too damned stupid.

Thel’s a little slow the first thing in the morning, but after that first cuppa joe…WATCH OUT!

You know that’s the sweat shirt that fits Big Daddy to a T…

Looks like Mommy and Daddy needed an out tonight…

to be honest, Dolly, we’ve promised this for Jeffy’s trousseau.

…17 years ago!” (Thanks to Josh at the Comics Curmudgeon for digging up these relics.)

Fun is where you find it.

Back home, and to our good ol’ shenanigans!

It’s just that Big Daddy Bil’s physique reminded me of something…

It’s not over yet, no matter what the IQ-challenged Arizona Guv Dougie Douche-y says…

There’s nothing like back to school with a sniveling Dolly; maybe this year will be different…

Hint to Billy: Don’t ask stupid questions if you don’t want to hear honest answers!

Back at the Compound…

Sorry that it had to come from the Fambly Circus…

Dirty little kitchen secrets…

Go for the gusto, Billy!

What better way to waste the summer than being exposed to “DOLLYISMS”? A slow, painful death? well, maybe…

Even Jeffy is beginning to recognize when crap is being thrown…

…that you really DON’T have to put up with crap from the rest of the Fambly…

It’s almost that time (NO! Not Memorial Day!)

To think Dolly might actually be right from time to time…

“Nothing personal, of course…”

Oh, if only Dolly understood dog-speak…”I have rabies.”

Oh, if Jeffy weren’t so, so stupid…

Dolly the Snitch…

And if a grandparent isn’t on tap for checking out soon, maybe we’d better check on Barfy…

Happy 4th of July! Over and over and over again….

I don’t know if it’s the pandemic, or Big Daddy and Mommy are just getting fed up with their 60-some-year-old malonhead…

And Thel’s fuse just gets shorter and shorter…

But in the event she can reduce the load by a Melonhead or three…

Poor Thelma. Poor, poor Thelma. I’m sorry, but I just can’t say it enough…