Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

Eerie similarities…

(I do like CC’s Little Guy, in response to June’s aggressive interrogation (and even more aggressive removal of her sunglasses) ask, “Did I just hear Roger Daltrey screaming in the background?”. This is ringing all sorts of alarm bells, isn’t it?)

Here’s the original as a reference:

And here’s the mashup (you’ll have to add your own Horatio Caine):

Short like Sarah Morgan.

Sweet like that bikini.

Boozed up like Agnes.

But back to suspicious old June.

Multi-tasking Rex!

This got weird.  I just wanted to showcase Woeful Willy (or Woebegone Willy, or some other name that sounds like something out of a nursery rhyme or an Edward Gorey book), but the plot has been so slow, there really wasn’t much to work with.  So here we have human trafficking, always a crowd-pleaser.

What’s killing me is any explanation why a blonde kid named Willy comes from Costa Rica…the bastard offspring of a horny rain forest researcher and one of the local ladies?  You heard it here first.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaand...the plot thickens.  Supposedly Willy’s dad lives in a city called Bos-ton. Right.

Meanwhile, June gets a little testy (yes, it’s a real word.  And it’s not dirty, either.)

Pose. Pose. Pose.

That’s right, June.

Wow, I’ve been wasting my short time on Earth adding to this blog for a whole year!  I’d been doing mashups for some time before, but this has been a cheap fabulous way of setting them down in pixels and hoping that they’re making some folks laugh…or chuckle…or groan…or scratch their heads.

I don’t even have a mashup to commemorate Anniversary #1, but hey, June Morgan is in a bikini today, so maybe that’ll inspire me (I say “inspire,” because considering how June looks in a bikini, I think I’d just be depressed otherwise…).

Okay, I lied.  Well, no, I just got inspired.  And the more I looked at the first panel in the 3 April strip, the more I wondered why we can’t see ANY of June in the mirror.  Of course the bathroom in her cabin is larger than any of the ones in MY HOUSE, so that could have something to do with it, but I prefer a more logical reason (a bathroom that large for the run-of-the-mill cruise guest is hardly logical, after all).

Thanks to Josh F., The Comics Curmudgeon hisself, for his great blog, and to Dean Booth, whose mashups first inspired me and continue to do so several years after discovering just how PhotoShop can be abused! (also to mr. bats :[ who puts up with these doodles and at least pretends to follow all the convoluted plot machinations in Mary Worth and Rex Morgan et al. when I start sputtering about them; True Fable ‘cuz he’s sweet; Mooncattie, who’s also sweet and doesn’t mind appearing in the occasional mashup (right?); and a whole buncha CC folks who I know drop in here!)

This is the site’s 500th post! Great Googly Moogly!

Sure, I could do some cheap and tawdry, get-a-quick-laugh mashup, but isn’t it better that a cautionary tale to aspiring cartoonists take this space?  Anyway, to all aspiring cartoonists, illustrators, muralists, and graffi-artists:  Nostril Upshots don’t look good on anyone.

No matter how difficult it might be to believe that Rex and June procreated, and that Sarah is the product of their loins (shudder), there are other ways of demonstrating relatedness.  If I have to pull out one of my old college genetics textbooks, I will.  I swear I will.

…when a plot makes a glacier’s advance look like the Indy 500.  Mary Worth is usually the Queen of the Grind (maybe because she’s so old and tottering contributes to such things), but lately, the (in)action in Rex Morgan, M.D. is hovering (very, very slowly) around empty donut wrappers and Second Officer Guido Tomas’ apparent reluctance to find the stowaway boy.

Hey, buddy, the strike is over! Back to niggly little jobs that delight and amuse the clientele! Capise? We want smarmy, immature humor, lots of it (not unlike a cruise ship buffet), and we want it now!!

Ahh, that’s better.  And if it’s not enough that the situations might be smarmy, Second Officer Tomas is acting a little more secretive (closeted, you might say) than usual, too…

I’m not holding out much hope for excitement in the ensuing reuniting of Donut Boy with civilization, but I do what I can:

And the excitement and suspense continues on Sunday!

Not really a foot, but more like a diabetically-predisposed fat kid, sort of a blond Mason Reese.

And for the record, John C Fremont from over at CC has discovered that there are really and truly “Go Nuts Donuts”.  They’re made in the Philippines.  The website is hideous, like a Teletubbie wet-dream. Ick.