By bats | February 20, 2009 - 9:26 am

Why on earth do we continue to follow Judge Parker?  While there are occasional glitters and glimmers of pulchritude (sexy legal secretary Gloria; sexy Scottsdale homicide detective Heidi; sexy (but dead) pole-dancer and murderer Dixie Julep), the one thing that keeps the attention riveted and the juices flowing is….

Abbey Spencer!

Abbey in a bathrobe.
Abbey in Daisy Dukes.
Abbey in a riding outfit.
Abbey in a flannel shirt.
Abbey with her hand up a nice chicken.
Abbey in a black strapless number.

Yeah, like I was going to say Sam Driver (nice body, but not shown off enough).

The current story line focuses on Alan Parker’s retirement, Randy Parker’s investiture as the new Judge Parker, Sam Driver’s reluctant acceptance to be Alan’s book agent and Abbey Spencer grinding around the celebration in the aforementioned black strapless number.  Only there’s not enough of the last option, so here’s more:

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By bats | February 19, 2009 - 2:50 pm
Posted in Category: Trust Me, I'm a Doctor

As if June weren’t having enough problems with Rex scaring the bejabbers out of her with this Norwalk talk, here comes Agnes Dunsmore!  Not a pretty sight, first thing in the morning and all…

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By bats | - 2:45 pm

There’s little better on the comics page when a couple of panels (particularly in the “serious” strips) just sets up the snark so perfectly.

I haven’t been paying much attention to The Phantom‘s Crocco Caper, but the 19 February strip is great.  Panels 2 and 3 here are untouched, which invites all sorts of smart-ass replies.  Then again, it might just be a rhetorical question.

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By bats | February 10, 2009 - 4:23 pm
Posted in Category: I Smell Something Funky

Mrs. Funky? While we’re laying all of our cards out on the table, let’s just call a spade a spade.

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By bats | February 8, 2009 - 4:13 pm
Posted in Category: Trust Me, I'm a Doctor

As in the Golden Age of the great sailing ships, physicians play an invaluable role in the well-being of their crew.

At least until Rex Morgan comes aboard.

And, yes, we’re going to devolve, more quickly than slowly, into the realm of poop humor.

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By bats | February 7, 2009 - 12:48 pm
Posted in Category: Cameo Appearances, Markin' the Trail

Meanwhile in Lost Forest, Ken Brillohead, Lumberjack with Issues, terrorizes his wife Patty and threatens to shoot her pet deer.  Unfortunately, he does own a closetful of guns, so he could make good on the threat.

A friendly piece of advice, Ken: Judge Parker’s literary agent, Dewey Cheatem, had a closetful of guns, too.  Do you know where Dewey is, Ken?  That’s right, on a slab in the Scottsdale morgue!

I don’t even think Lost Forest has a morgue:

I have to admit, I could give a rat’s patoot (or a venison burger with seasoned curly fries) as to what happens to Bucky (the deer, not the cat).  But now we’ve crossed into Extreme Close-up Territory (aka, ECT), and that’s always a winner!

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By bats | February 5, 2009 - 2:43 pm
Posted in Category: Trust Me, I'm a Doctor

Rex Morgan, M.D., has been alerted to a medical emergency!

Off he goes like the wind!

Something exciting is bound to happen soon!

(“soon” being about 10 days in the Rex Morgan universe…)

Of course, medical emergencies are never simple:

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By bats | - 2:37 pm
Posted in Category: Miscarriage of Juggstice

Even though Sam and Abbey are Sophie’s adoptive parents, they do take good care of her and take their parenting responsibilities seriously and give her unlimited opportunities.

Well, at least when Sam is in town.

And when he’s not distracted by more interesting things.

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By bats | February 4, 2009 - 4:18 pm
Posted in Category: Trust Me, I'm a Doctor

…the people are mostly nekkid.  If they’d quite jabbering about that stowaway kid (funny, how nobody wanted to talk about him when only Sarah believed in him),  this has the potential of diving to prurient depths.  Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease.

I have to admit, that if we’re having to endure endless worry over some kid, at least Rex and June have gotten more comfortable and feel the need to strrrrreeettcccch those robes.  Well, at least June does.

Of course, the evening has to end all too soon, and Rex was wakened at 5 AM by chief cook/bottle washer/cabin boy/token employee Second Officer Guido Tomas at the behest of the ship’s doctor because of an emergency.  I would’ve bet good money that Guido was using his Boy Scout training to fill in for the doctor, but I guess I’m wrong.

How sad, though — no time for a morning quickie (at least not for Rex and June). It is nice to see June being nice to the employees, even with yesterday’s run-in with Purser McPissy.

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By bats | - 4:10 pm
Posted in Category: I Smell Something Funky

Time for a little “Creepy Dad Comix”!  I know I’ve been really focusing on Rex Morgan, but well, the snark only spreads so thin, and the reason I’m messin’ with sad-sack Les is because he’s dredging up ghosts.


Blue cats are cooler.

And how bad is it that **I** can figure out that Chat Bleu is going to make an appearance three days before he does? Not that it doesn’t piss him off anyway (he is a cat, after all).

And so, a week of cut-rate seance chicanery bites the dust:

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