..other than it was too stormy outside to do anything (yeah, like I’d be outside in the middle of the afternoon in the middle of June), and that CC’s commodorejohn hasn’t been terrorized enough recently (no, I don’t have another book for him)…
…and a hint of reality.
Mark’s been in the woods, looking for clues that might exonerate his fishing pal from the MURDER! of a rival fishing camp owner. Of course, the folks at The Comics Curmudgeon have been offering their help. What could have Mark found in the woods?
Biv Alves offers a Mighty, Mighty Non-comprehensive List of Things Mark Might Have Just Found:
.30-06 shell casing with Gene’s thumbprint on it
.30-06 shell casing with the Widow Chavez’s thumbprint on it
.30-06 shell casing with Andy’s paw-print on it
.30-06 shell casing with Lucky Buck’s hoof-print on it
A contact lens
His wallet
A used condom
Two used condoms
Two turntables and a microphone
Two gelflings in a walnut shell
A raccoon chained to a log
A broken arrow tipped with a .30-06 bullet
A blowgun modified to use .30-06 ammunition
A fully functioning and anatomically correct Type I Mark Trail, complete with emotion chip, buried in in peat since the end of the Pleistocene
The Axis Mundi
The Rainbow Bridge
Yoda
Jimmy Hoffa’s mummified jimmy
Funky Winkerbean‘s sense of fun and whimsy
IT IS RUSTY!
Horace Broom‘s valuable insights:
Barney Google
A slingshot designed to fire a .30-06 bullet
A slingshot designed to fire a .30-06 bullet with Dennis Mitchell’s thumbprint on it
The missing episodes of Doctor Who
The missing episodes of Sunday Night At The London Palladium
Peter Parker’s heroism
WOLVES !
The Unnamed Token Gay Guys “celebrating” that they were allowed to the prom
Summer and Kiesha “celebrating” that they were allowed to the prom
Cherry and Kelly “celebrating” that they were allowed to the prom
Two carnivorous slugs (that may or may not be “celebrating” that they were allowed to the prom)
Rex Morgan’s understanding of the Hippocratic Oath and/or medicine
A rare orchid
A rare orchid that the dead body apparently landed on and killed
A note from Gene’s mother, excusing him from ridiculous plotlines
Biv Alves‘ further speculations (Biv in en fuego!):
Also, unmodified, original-cut editions of the original Star Wars trilogy on Blu-Ray
A mint copy of the premier January 3, 1977 newspaper Spider-Man strip showing him being bitten by a radioactive jackass
A partially submerged 1966 Chevy Sportline van covered in faded psychedelic flowers containing the skeletal remains of two men, a woman, a hermaphrodite, and a Great Dane.
Mark’s libido
A bird’s nest containing a large egg encrusted with precious jewels, apparently scavenged somewhere by a childless songbird
Der Schnärkïnätör adds:
A pair of balls with little red hearts painted on them.
While Dennis contributes More Things Mark Might Have Just Found:
The 1987 Denver Broncos
Cthulhu
The Good version of Godfather Part 3
The giant Steve Allen pog from that one episode of The Simpsons
ALF pogs
pogs with pictures of .30-06 shells
Becky’s other arm
The Lost episode of Bonanza where Hoss puts on a dress and starts singing “put on your old grey bonnet with a bow.”
27 tags to John Cena
And Illustrator Steve is a tad more succinct (and highly likely):
TWO SKELETONS WEARING UPS UNIFORMS TIED TO TREE STUMPS.
Whew! While I came to the conclusion that Mark’s discovery just HAD TO BE one of these, today’s strip genuinely seems to be zeroing in on the suspect:
Can you imagine how much more quickly Mark could solve these mysteries and return home to his beloved Cherry Rusty Pancakes, if he’d only listen to US?!?
(Oh, and the folks at CC are some of the funniest people in the world!)
It had to be done.
No. Really.
Does Mary Worth’s sphere of influence influence all spheres? Possibly…
And yet…
It’s a weird and mystical world out there!
In which bats :[ finds an errant “Love is…”, two out of three color panels (although all three are in color), and the return of Scoopy, with possibly fatal results!
I. Am. So. Excited.
I. Am. Still. Excited.
I mean, what if we only have one bullet?
I miss our Comics Curmudgeon buddy Dingo. Even when he wasn’t being his wonderfully filthy self, he was amazingly funny. I doubt I’ll ever be adept at computer animation, and when the comics throws you Spiderman dancing for joy (no kidding! check out the 4/17/12 strip) or the Phantom making jazz hands (okay, he wasn’t really, but a girl can dream and a mash-up can result), I am reminded of Dingo’s “Mary Worth: Dancing Queen” on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nuhiYsW7T2o. (Holy Cow! Kit Walker even makes an appearance in the Mary Discoverse!)
So, here’s to you, Dingo, knowing you would’ve made it great. And very likely X-rated.
Oh, this was TJ’s idea to propose marriage. Okay, let’s blame someone else for our many, many inadequacies, B-wad! You da man!
