So we’ve got Wilbur Weston’s mysterious “illegitimate son” going to meet his father. Too bad a mustachioed cab driver drove (heh) several Comics Curminions to bad memories of the most famous mustachioed Santa Royalian of them all!
Sort of like that Christmas ghost story that English dude Dickens wrote, huh?
Over in the Big Apple, Margo’s parents (who never married — yeah, Margo’s a bastard, too, as if that weren’t apparent) are cozying up during the holidays, and her dad Martin presents her mom with ruby earrings. Or something:
And CC’s own bourbon babe, unbuckled paid tribute to Mark Trail’s daring assault on Otis P. Cornpone, Sheriff of the Law in Backwater County, in an attempt to save Rusty before the tide came in or he was eaten by crabs or pelicans or sand fleas:
(As sung by Mark Trail)
I punched the sheriff
But I didn’t punch the deputy, oh no!
I punched the sheriff
But I didn’t punch the deputy,
Yeah! All around in this beach town,
They’re trying to track me down;
They say they want to bring me in guilty
For the punching of a deputy,
For the nose of a deputy.
But I say:
I punched the sheriff.
But I swear it was for Rusty’s sake.
I say: I punched the sheriff – Oh, gosh! –
And they say it was a big mistake.
Sheriff Stogie always hated me,
For breaking into that store:
Every time that I stole a jack,
He said hey, son, give that back –
He said hey, son, give that back.
And so:
I punched the sheriff.
But I swear it was for Rusty’s sake.
Where was the deputy?
I say: I punched the sheriff,
And I hope that Rusty’s still awake.
Of course, heartfelt lyrics like that absolutely demand chorus of backup singers. Suitably cute (so Mark doesn’t feel obliged to punch them, too):
The Holidays are a WHIRLWIND!!!
