Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

This better be the LAST strip dedicated to Life is Brutal/Well Maybe Not/Gimme Back My Column You Old Bat!  It’s Saturday, the HARROWING rescue has been reprised for the last week, it’s Saturday, and tomorrow’s Sunday, and if we eight more panels of this tomorrow, cannoli will roll! Capise?

UPDATE: There was no pool party.  There was more yammering about this. The current Mary Worth plot is on an one-way track to Sucksville.  Booo!

UPDATE, Take 2: Even worse, Wilbur’s editor thinks a “No Shit, There I Was” SERIES…SERIES! MORE THAN ONE! FOR WEEKS ON FREAKIN’ END! of Wilbur’s harrowing adventure is a good idea!

Now, is a freakin’ Pool Party too much to ask?

Evidently so…because the next day, Mary asks for a retelling! (No, I am not making this up.) Yet I suspect the newly-redeemed, life-isn’t-so-brutal-after-all Dawn has her limits.

In this summer of the 30th Olympiad, ship sinkings, bighorn sheep killings, free trips to San Diego and emo ballet performances, Sam Driver and Avery Blackstone have kind of been lost in the mix.  They’ve been fly fishing and wining and dining with Bea O’Boobs, and Avery’s been trying to sweet-talk Ms. O’Boobs into opening the lodge for other fishermen, but way down deep, there’s more.  Oh, so much more!

And damned if Sam is completely clueless.  I’m just a little frightened by Avery’s impersonation of a wall-eyed pike.

Just sayin’.

Because Mary HATES stupid.

The cruise ship is still sinking.  The Westons have been unable to board a lifeboat.  Brutal, huh?

Of course it gets worse…

Or does it?

[This could turn into Dawn’s “Aaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaah…” moment.]

OMG OMG OMG…I completely forgot the continuation of The Lust Boat!  (Did you know there is actually an X-rated movie, vaguely based on The Love Boat? It is called The Lust Boat, and I actually paid money to see it in a theater.  I hang my head in shame, mostly because it was an el stinko movie.  I saw it over 25 years ago and so I can’t really say whether it was worse than the current Mary Worth story or not.)

…and you can bet Mary wouldn’t be caught with her bloomers down tossing it around so casually, as it has been used in her comic recently! But times are, well, ugly…

…and the Morgans’ Bankrupt Caribbean Adventure (aka, “The Donut Kid”), I am NEVER stepping foot on a cruise ship!

To be honest, I had to do this just because Get Fuzzy mentioned a “bowl of eternal salmon treats” today. Who else would be the guardian?

They being all of us who think that a Mary Worth strip ain’t worth a rat’s patoot unless Mary’s in the thick of it!  And here she is (or isn’t), 2000 miles away and life continuing (for a little while, at least) quite spectacularly without her!

Boy, is she gonna be pissed!

More excitement on the bridge!

(Sadly, one day of this and I’m already wondering what Wilbur and Dawn are doing…)