Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

The weeks of angst and pain as Gina the Witless Protection Waitress spilled her guts to Mary about her First Love culminated in a whirlwind of reuniting with him and driving off to NYC with him to live Happily Ever After.  (No kidding!)

This probably means we’ll never hear from Gina again unless her boyfriend/husband suffers a tragic soccer accident, loses his starring position in his prestigious professional soccer team, and starts beating her.

In the meantime, Mary discovers that Gina never even bothered to say goodbye to her, leaving her at quite a loss.  No waitress to pick up her sizable “liquid” tab at The Diner…

…or one who just wants the same Mary Worth “Love Connection” as Gina had.  Good heavens, even Mary can’t stomach a repeat meddling so soon!

What is a biddy to do?

Let’s get revved up for Mary’s new adventure!

RCMP acting strangely, Kelly Welly acting strangely, Rusty acting strangely, heck, even Mark acting strangely, as long as something is done about this wretched reunion between Gina the Waitress and her Skater Boi.  Go for it, Mark!

…I almost forgot!

…or just start going to a different diner.  ShutupshutupshutupGina!

So, at least a few folks at the Comics Curmudgeon speculated that the pervy guy passing Gina the Waitress his telephone number along with his tab was her childhood beau, Bobby Black.  A few THOUGHT that the pervy guy passing Gina the Waitress his telephone number along with his tab should’ve been her childhood beau, Bobby Black.

While unlikely, there are times when we seen minor players in the Mary Worth universe who make a reappearance: now happily-married and pregnant Delilah,  the whole-dimwitted Cory clan, the really dimwitted Toby, and old fat Ian.  We need to see Bobby Black!  It’s good for Gina! It’s good for America!

And another, just because Gina’s membership in the Witless Protection Program should’ve come with the requirement to get rid of that damned thing sticking out of the top of her head.

That’s it?!? Disappointment doesn’t even run.  It kind of moseys, or slogs, maybe.

Gina goes on and on.  And yes, now I haz it…sympathy for the devil Mary Worth:

…which, at this point, is light-years better than watching Les Moore propose to the Cayla Realdoll.

Well, it seems that Gina’s happy youth was interrupted by her father witnessing a mob murder and the family having to go into Witness Protection (because that kind of thing HAPPENS ALL THE TIME!).

Or, maybe it does…I dunno.

And while that is a gripping scenario, Mary knows how to prioritize:

Even more about Mary Worth having to listen to the non-story of Gina the Waitress and her Summer of Skateboarding.  You just KNOW something awful is going to happen to Gina, since no one except for Mary is allowed the least little shred of happiness.

Let’s see, we have a young girl in love, doting parents, carefree friends, and wicked cool skateboards.  What could possibly go wrong?

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Could any alternative be possibly worse?

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

Funky Winkerbean for the win! The dismal, dismal win!