Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

I like snarking Mary Worth as much as the next person, but can we move on?  I find her siren song just too strong and I must mash it! (Maybe this is a subtle plea for Rex and Sam and Mark to step up to the base and give us some goofier stuff…)

Then again, it forces me to go a little farther afield — stepping away from the couch, as it were:

And to appreciate snarky suggestion from fellow Curminions over at The Comics Curmudgeon:

[I suspect Mary would opt for those sensible, wrap-around sunglasses though.  Maybe she’d go just a little crazy and get some reddish-orange highlights, too.  YEAAAAHHHHH!]

The comic strip Gil Thorpe does a bang-up job of messing with the space-time continuum (in that a lot of the strips look as though they’ve fallen in a black hole and are being folded, spindled and mutilated into fantastic, utterly impossible dimensions).  If you have a touchy tummy, this can make you a bit queasy.

Mary Worth is more established in perceiving the here-and-now.  People stand side-by-side.  No “art” shots.  No weird framing (that’s left to 9 Chickweed Lane and Pibgorn).  So when it does happen, with Mary hovering above Dr. Mike as he lies on his official psychiatrist couch, looking down on him as those God is parting the clouds and getting a gander at His creation below, it is even more disturbing than the current plot-line alone.

Mary, please leave wacky perspective to the professionals.  Or at least leave wacky physical perspective to the professionals — we know that you’re the inarguable master of wacky mental perspective.

Some people prefer to comment, rather on non-Euclidean space, the sartorial splendor of an up-and-coming young psychiatrist:

And then even some people with the patience of a saint, may feel a bit overwhelmed and need to call in reinforcements:

Honest to Pete!  Mary Worth plays psychiatrist! Dr. Mike plays patient!

And, dang it, if he’s playing his role just a little too well. (Yes, the histrionic gestures are just as they appear in the strip.)

Still, Mary slogs on in the windmills of Mike’s mind…

Can a real Love Connection be far behind? (Don’t forget the Miracle Whip!)

It’s not enough that Dr. “Mike,” psychiatrist lies down on his own couch, complaining of a heavy case load (22 July 2010).

No, indeed, let’s have Mary take a seat next to him and start pontificating on Freud! (23 July 2010) I am not making this up.

This, on the other hand, I am totally making up:

Dr. Roberts (“Please, call me ‘Mike’.”) really does ask Mary leave to lie down.  Prelude to an interlude?

Nah.

…Funky’s alive, and back in Westview.  You think he’d be happy seeing his loving wife Holly.

Evidently, Holly went to the hospital cafeteria and didn’t bother to put a “Do Not Disturb Patient” sign on his door.  Dean Booth has already ushered in a number of “well-wishers” (I’m saying this, only because the only other alternative is that random people in Funky’s room are looking to steal his wallet or any other items of value).  To see them:

http://comicbooth.com/blogengine.net/post/Welcome-Back-to-the-Future.aspx

A few others have slipped by hospital security, too.  One is a fellow who’d argue against all those people who think Funky is a terrible, terrible father:

The other is one of the hospital’s own angels of mercy, although”zombie” of mercy might be a little closer to the truth.  Hang onto your brains, Funky! (Mary, dear — please go have your meds adjusted.)

And I don’t think it could really be Funky lying there if there weren’t a few maudlin drop-ins.  (Plus, I think this has real potential as a television series.)

“How are Jenna and Dr. Mike getting along after that oh-so-magical first date?”

And, believe it or not, although schadenfreude sounds like one of those long, fancy-schmancy German words that explains something to absolute perfection (those Germans have a word for everything!), it really comes from the Feline, meaning just about what you expect it to mean:

Living at Charterstone isn’t one endless pool party.  And when Toby is out for the evening with her husband, and Charley Smith is “entertaining” at his bachelor pad, and Jeff is “off” at an “important” medical “conference,” the hours can drag by…

Apparently even the creators of the Worthian universe have discovered just how boring Mike and Jenna are.

How boring are they?

When it’s less boring to have several days with Mary brushing her hair and talking to herself (or someone) in the mirror:

Or when she’s gone from quoting philosophers and statesmen to 60s-era popular singers, like Paul Anka (thanks to CC’s Buck Ripsnort for discovering that little gem).

Well, as long as she lives in the past with the likes of Anka and Barry Manilow.  My soul just couldn’t take some appropriations:

You know, if Dr. Mike had done this during Mardi Gras, he probably would’ve had beads thrown at him.

Well, the obvious didn’t happen (it never does in Mary-Land), but Mike and Jenna dance on the beach (so they don’t have to pay the cover charge for the band playing at the Boardwalk Dance Emporium) to the strains of “Beyond the Sea.”

Me?  I’ve always been partially to “Mack the Knife”…

And where better than in two soap strips, both of which featuring Young People in Love (or Like, or Blind Date…something like that):

Well, maybe there will be a little more of a “spark” in this one: