Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

Salmon Squares! As the Charterstone pool party ™ winds down, Mary Worth pulls a Jesus-at-the-wedding-in-Cana. Not only do you absolutely know most of the goodies on those picnic tables came from her very own kitchen, by the sweat of her very own wrinkly brow, but Mary save the best for last…

…”Best” being a relative term. If you were a French aristocrat living in the late 18th C, you might’ve thought it was “the best of times,” but, sadly, you would’ve been wrong.

The blast is courtesy of the lovely Janice Malloy, Max “The Ax” Malloy’s wife.

How sad is it when a simple misspelling is more unintentionally humorous than several years’ worth of Keane Kids misprouncements?

The Charterstone pool party continues to pack ’em in (no matter how loudly they scream for mercy):

You might scoff and think Mary is just as meddlesome as she ever was, but little signs are everywhere that her Powers could be waning.

The Friday strip confirms it (12 June). A whole week of pool party — something had to happen! Some rapscallionry, horseplay, running around the pool, a Charterstone resident getting a little too loaded on cheap wine coolers.

But, no…
*Some guy pours himself a drink from a 2-liter bottle of soda while regarding the mustard-glazed donuts with suspicion.
*Toby’s lazy eye goes on a stroll.
*The fellow to Mary’s left is looking for Love Connection — and it doesn’t involve either Mary or Toby.
*And a sudden eclipse plunges Mary’s face into shadow, dramatically illustrating the loss of Mary Worth’s influence in Charterstone, to say nothing of Santa Royale…or The Valley.

Like the sun’s dangerous ultraviolet rays, Mary meddling abilities are cast have been dulled.

POOOOOOOOOOOOL PARTY!
And can anyone party like the denizens of Charterstone?

Well, hmmm…roadkill for starters.
Still, we’ve all been waiting for it, haven’t we?

And of the many, many denizens of Charterstone, who does Mary zoom in on? Yes, it’s the hapless trophy wife Toby. Thank god for booze.

Virtually NO meddling in this storyline! Yeah, sure, you might think Jeff Cory is filling in for Mary, but he’s an amateur! A poser! A sad and pathetic wannabe!

We’ve been subjected to dinner after dinner, talking head after talking head, and a plot that rivals wintergreen frozen dairy dessert. Mary, where are you when we need you? When THEY need you?!

During the whole “Queenie and the Tramp” storyline, while Adrian Cory falls further and further for con-man Ted, Mary has been mysteriously absent.  When Adrian needs counseling, she turns to her father!  Mary only reappears after Ted has been apprehended and Adrian and Jeff’s long conversations have resolved Adrian’s fears — clearly trodding on the toes of What Mary Does Best.

Where has Mary been? Detox? An extensive Meddleholics Anonymous retreat? ‘Nam?  To give the grand old dame her due, however, Mary attempts to insinuate herself into the mop-up operations of Adrian’s unhappy affair. (Note how Mary uses modern jargon, like that ultra-hip “wow.”, to lure Adrian into a false sense of security.)

Nevertheless, once Mary is “back on the scene,” it’s all meddlin’ business for her!  Then again, could we expect anything else?

Oh, gee whiz!  Adrian evolved a spine in a week,  but she might not make it to the weekend to potentially procreate with another vertebrate.

aka, Adrian snaps!

This can be distilled to a single panel, one that we all can appreciate:

Or even made into a parlor game!

CC’s Baka Gaijin supplies even more speech bubbles for getting Mary off of Adrian’s case amusment and entertainment:

“Eeek! Nosfaratu!!

“Nurse, please page the Infection Control officer. This lady hasn’t washed her hands since her last meddlegasm.”

“Outta my place, toilet face!”

“I need a young priest and an old priest. STAT!”

“Beeeeeeeeeeeeep! Sorry, Mary, I gotta go. Someone’s dying. Someone who can’t be meddled back to life.”

“Damn, this smock goes right into decontamination. I just got it from the cleaners.”

“Maybe if I ignore it, it’ll go away.”

“A famous man once said, ‘Mary, you misguided ignorant slut.”

“I’m all verklempt!”

THANKS!

This is what I get for watching Season 1 of “Dexter” in three or less days.

And just as rearranging the letters in “KELRAST” spell “STALKER,” rearranging the letters in “BLOOM” spell “MOB LO.”  Creeeeeeepy!

UPDATE ON TASER-MANIA: I don’t read Marvin.  It looks insipid enough from the drawing style, and from what other folks say, the insipidity goes down to the bone (or the text, as it may be).  Still, a little jolt of humor never hurts, does it?

Alas! Alack!  Adrian Cory’s One True Love is a swindler! A thief! A bigamist!

How could a smart, young professional like Adrian have judged him so inaccurately? Just hope she’s not one of the doctors in your HMO.