Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

…but I’ll have an order of piping-hot honesty, Mary!

…and I’m sure you hectic semi-retired medical status was the reason that it took DAYS before you got around to seeing Mary, your so-called “lady friend.” Better watch your step, Dr. Corey — Mary’s not blind, you know, and don’t all women just love to “window shop”?

The current Mary Worth story has lost me completely. I don’t think it even has to do with those walls decorated in orange (evidently the funeral home last remodeled in the 1970s; I’ll bet the embalming room is done in avocado green). It’s those dang Amalfi Bros.! Who’s Richard? Who’s Ron? Who cares? I really tried to figure out which one was which and failed miserably.

Move along, Mary, move along. Nothing to meddle with here.

Look, Mary, this was a thin story-line to start with, and I was doing pretty well ignoring the snark of it. But dang, there you are at Donna’s funeral, and you can see the old lady in her casket! How freakin’ creepy is THAT?

The rest is just icing on the cake that was served at the luncheon after the memorial service…

You have to hand it to Mary Worth — our silver-haired doyenne certainly doesn’t let her age slow her down! When she isn’t volunteering, she’s keeping her body physically fit as her mind dutifully chugs down Memory Lane.

(Okay, this was all for yet another cheap shot at Ziggy-in-Training Jeffy. There was a calling. I heard it. Like the voices in Mary’s head.)

It’s more real than real!

I laugh and smirk and make catty comments about June Morgan and Andy Reed (aka, Andreu, Count Morgu) messing around in the hospital supply closet, and THEN!, a member from over at CC diverts our attention to genuine messing around in the hospital supply closet!, courtesy Kyle’s Bed and Breakfast! Kyle’s a gay-themed (well, duh!) web comic strip by Greg Fox — he is an excellent illustrator! I’m jealous (why, I’m not sure, maybe the drawing and storytelling talents, maybe all the hot guys that are interested in other hot guys. C’est la vie.).

Well, if there’s kanoodling in the supply closet, can meddling be far behind?

Happy Earth Day! I’ve started my under-the-counter earthworm composter (no big action yet, but it doesn’t smell bad, either, so I think things are working). Everyone in Toon Town was busy honoring the Earth, it seems.

[Vermicomposting update (23 April): I couldn’t take it any longer and decided to see if the cupful of nightcrawlers from Wal-Mart were dead or alive, so I dug around in the compost bin with my bare hands (ewww!). There are only a few worms (from what I could see), but Jiminy Christmas, one’s the size of a freakin’ SAND WORM, and it moves as muscularly and determinedly as one of them! I should be getting my pound o’ nightcrawlers in the mail today or tomorrow, so with any luck, I’m gonna be hip-deep in worm poop in very little time. I might not be able to control the Spice, but I envision some degree of controlling the nightcrawler castings…]

Mary may have met her match. Then again you don’t go messin’ in family affairs with folks who have names like Corleone, or Amalfi. If she’s lucky, she won’t be sleeping with the sardines.

I don’t mind Rex and June taking some time from their coffee breaks and chowing down on some fine diner cuisine, but I can’t help but feel a strange sense of foreboding with some of the goings-on at the hospital…

(Thanks to “Wanders” from CC for having the mental and intestinal fortitude in compiling The Worthian Manifesto, a turgid and surprisingly pointless account of Mary’s early years and the reasoning behind her meddlin’ ways.)