Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

Okay,  Shrek’s not in here anywhere, but the shrike (a real bird!) was the guest wildlife in Sunday’s Mark Trail.  It’s a pretty cool little creature, the size of a medium songbird with the ‘tude of a pterodactyl.  Yeah! Kill that vermin! Impale it, like some avian kind of Vlad Tepes! Yeah!

Wow.  Just like Tennyson said, “Nature, red in sharp little beak and weak little toes.”  (That might be a paraphrase, come to think of it.)  Even in black-and-white, the little shrike’s reputation is pretty colossal:

THIS is what happens when Josh, the Comics Curmudgeon himself, mentions that he’s off on his annual week of Hanuchrismwaanza celebration.  No mention of Uncle Lumpy tending the store (or minding the asylum), so there are rumors that Sneaky, the Klepto Raccoon an’ Andy’s (the Saint Bernard, not Rex Morgan’s pal) buddy, will be keeping us in line.

One raccoon vs. a horde of Curminions?  One word: rabies.

We’ll be good, Josh.

UPDATE: This was originally published on 23 December 2008.  But at last Sneaky has his very own song!

“The Ballad of Sneaky Raccoon”

Now somewhere in the green tree-filled land of Lost Forest
There lived a procyon named Sneaky Raccoon
One day his crawdads were stolen by another guy
Young Sneaky was hungry,  Sneaky didn’t like that
He said I’m gonna get that boy
One day he walked to the cabin
And slipped himself into an open window

Sneaky Raccoon checked out the main room
Only to find old Mark Trail
Sneaky was mad, lots of sharp teeth he had
That dumb kid he was gonna assail
That kid and his pup on his crawdads did sup
Which made Sneaky very contrary
Mrs. Trail was there with nice black-and-blue hair
And everyone knew her as Cherry

She was sort of busty, her son’s name was Rusty
(He was smart as a bowl of squirrel stew)
Sneaky burst in and growling like sin
He said Rusty boy I’m gonna bite you
But that Rusty was weird – he cried “I’m askeered!”
And Mark Trail grabbed Sneaky’s ringed tail

Cherry’s dad wandered by, thought it best not to pry
But then he spied pancakes on the table
He said, Sneaky you met your match
And Sneaky said, This is just a rough patch
I’ll take down that boy as soon as I’m able

Sneaky — poor sod!– he was chained to a log
So much for his try at reprisal
Andy rescued him (the one not totally dim)
And helped with young Sneaky’s survival

Doot doodly doo doot doodly dee…

Marshmallows courtesy of Pearls Before Swine (just in case you might wonder where sentient marshmallows come from):

…Mark and Cherry could’ve once again been the Power Couple of Lost Forest.

Oh, over there. It’s Rusty.  At least Mark takes his “father-son” talks very, very seriously.

And how disappointing is this…very, very, unsettlingly similar panels.  I’m willing to believe it’s just some old swamp juju or voodoo some other silly word.  I guess.

Once more conscious, Mark Trail realizes that Rusty! and Sassy! have been left alone! In the tent! A quick peek revealed that the campsite looked peaceful and calm.

That’s what every damned thing that lives and flies and crawls and buzzes and swims in the swamp would like you to believe.  Only it takes a person with cunning and a sense of danger to realize otherwise.  Like CC’s AeroSquid (well, certainly not Mark!)…

Or even more insidious:

Oh, yeah. Like I’m not going to jump on the bandwagon (particularly when I can mash on AeroSquid’s original mashie goodness):

Okay, just one more:

“Holy Crapping Pancakes!” is courtesy of Sequitur (and I think if Mark every cursed, this would be it).  Speaking of Sequitur, guess who came along for the ride (Mark’s expression in Panel 2 kills me):

(and that’s just where the gator’s going to be in another few moments).  Mark remains unconscious, while not-really-a-bad-guy rushes to his rescue!

Wow! A bevy of “what happens next?” suppositories and suppositions sprang forth from CC’s Peanuts Gallery, and much of it lands here (most of Dingo’s contributions are included in the mysteriously-missing Panels 4 through 6) — thanks, Funny Folks!

Things are a-hoppin’ down in Lost Swamp.  Those rifle-shots? Alligator poachers!  And damned nasty ones, too! Mark is down for the count with a barky stick across the back of the head.

Even worse, the poachers decide to leave him on the ground — gator bait!

Meanwhile, Rusty sleeps on.

Thank heavens for
(1) “Raccoon Patrol!” and
(2) CC’s buckyswife, who, if she isn’t an executive for some high-powered television/entertainment corporation, SHOULD BE!  Not only did she see the promise in bringing “Raccoon Patrol!” to the fall TV line-up, but she pitched a great family-oriented program:  Rusty and Sassy take their trailraft and escape the dangers of Lost Swamp, only to have week after week of thrilling new adventures!  (Hey, like that caveman show last fall was a brainchild of Albert Einstein!)

Of course, the FOX network gets the most violent (and coolest) shows, as scrounged up professionally promoted by CC’s AeroSquid (admit it — you’d watch this, wouldn’t you?):

It’s been an exciting day for Rusty and Mark, catching fish, hearing gunshots in the distance, unhooking gators from poachers’ hook lines.  No doubt things are going to settle down after cocoa and toasted marshmallow:

Well, sorta (now where did I put my corkscrew?):

Back to Mark and Rusty’s adventures in the Lost Swamp in a minute.  First we’re saluting some of the great tiger art in Dick Tracy.  Yes, while the art in Dick Tracy is getting more and more cubist (along with Dick’s pudgy little fingers), the current storyline, set in a circus, is giving someone all sorts of opportunity to draw some fabulous tigers.  They’re even Mark Trail worthy!

Of couse, nobody listens to us, so it’s up to CC’s AeroSquid and yours truly to demonstrate just how easy a crossover between these two old warhorse comic strips can be:

Diana is in danger.

Not just danger…dangerous danger, as can only be foreseen by Old Man Mozz!

Can we get on with the story, please?