Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

This was suggested by CC’s Aviatrix, and I’m going to include her personal instructions for this lively game!

It’s time to prepare your bingo card for some Mark Trail bingo. Mark off a grid of five by five squares and write the letters T R A I L above the first row. Now for each column choose and arrange selections from the appropriate group.

Under the T: Talking wildlife
choose any five species native to the Lost Forest

Under the R: Redressing problems
choose any five possible guest character woes for Mark to solve, such as: illness, unemployment, grief, disability, marital problems, lost in LoFo, wounded, poor fashion sense, vehicular breakdown, missing pet or family member, chained to a log, fallen in the water.

Under the A: Actions and phrases
Choose any FOUR awkward things for Mark to say and do, such as: mention writing an article about something he encounters, “we can’t have this happening in Lost Forest,” awkward reference to current events, using technology in anachronistic ways, telling a law enforcement officer what to do. Mark the centre square in the column as the FoJ Bonus Square.

Under the I: Incredible powers of speech
Choose five non-mouth body parts (human or animal) for speech bubbles to emerge from, e.g. forehead, butt, ear, elbow, hand, nose, neck, inanimate object.

Under the L: Lots of hair
Choose five types or style of head and/or facial hair, e.g.
sideburns, beard, mustache, goatee, muttonchops, wild eyebrows, mohawk. Note: it is a bad idea to choose any personal hairstyle worn by a normal person after the 1950s, because it just isn’t going to happen.

Now read the strip day by day and place a an Elrod ball-shaped marker over each square as it appears in the strip. The FoJ square is a free square, you may mark it off right away whether Mark has punched anything or not. Because he WILL!

Ready to play? Let’s go!

…courtesy of people who are better than we are (i.e., movie stars and Mary Worth).

Famous, rich, beautiful, and still willing to look out for the Little People (i.e., us, not necessarily Munchkins).  Okay, so HUGE star Godiva Danube was thrown by a horse when paparazzi spooked it, but this is referred to as a “Photo Op,” in the biz:

And heck, since when does Mary have to wait for a chance to meddle and express her opinion? Every waking moment of her existence is an opportunity!

Live Safe!

It seems those barrels of toxic waste from the Williams Chemical Company are being dumped in Lost Forest by an unscrupulous waste-removal firm, with dubious links to the gambling community.

Yes, evidently LoFo has a gambling community. And Joey, one of the owners of WCC, is so far in debt that contracting with this waste-removal firm is the only way of preventing him having his acorns removed. If you know what I mean.

As Joey reveals this terrible secret to his sister, a local squirrel hears his confession and reacts with a nigh-on rabid response. Part of the gambling mob? Or a member of the anti-gambling grassroots movement? It’s hard to say with squirrels.

Still, gambling is a fact of life and a source of income in many communities, even in LoFo, where Johnny Malotte’s “We Gonna Win Big Now” casino packs ’em in nightly (from 5:30 until 8 or so, although it stays open all the way until 10 on Fridays and Saturdays). And Johnny makes sure that his guests don’t “overdo” it by posting reminders to game responsibly:

One of the Comics Curmudgeon’s readers, chica, linked to several PSA comic books that were published by the government or some educational or do-good agencies in the 1960s, in the attempt to make excruciatingly-boring topics learning FUN!

One featured our favorite General Practioner!

I’m sure it’s filled with useful information on prenatal health and nutrition and good stuff like that. Still, I’m sure other pamphlets might’ve been just as educational:

On the other hand, what many of these agencies always fail to realize it that people read comic books to be entertained — and that means pandering to the lowest common denominator:

Well, Rex. You get points for trying to be conscientious.

Here I was, doing a one-time funny with wacky, wacky road-rage possessed drivers.  Hey, it’s funny, and it’s a one shot deal. Right?

Oh, how wrong I was!

This is the site’s 500th post! Great Googly Moogly!

Sure, I could do some cheap and tawdry, get-a-quick-laugh mashup, but isn’t it better that a cautionary tale to aspiring cartoonists take this space?  Anyway, to all aspiring cartoonists, illustrators, muralists, and graffi-artists:  Nostril Upshots don’t look good on anyone.

No matter how difficult it might be to believe that Rex and June procreated, and that Sarah is the product of their loins (shudder), there are other ways of demonstrating relatedness.  If I have to pull out one of my old college genetics textbooks, I will.  I swear I will.

[Okay, I’ll say one thing.  I don’t understand those people who luuuuuve crapola like “Love Is…”, and FOOB with dying Farley and strokey Grandpa Jim, and Funky WInkerbean’s dead Lisa and eternally-mourning Les … and then find Lio creepy and sinister.]

I can’t believe it – I’m still going through Kleenex and coughing (although the coughing is usually at night, and when I do it during the day, I don’t notice it, even though it appears to freak out everyone around me. Good. Makes up for all the moms who drag their snotty-nosed, mucous-thick coughing kids around with them.)

Anyway, I define “bed-rest” as “sitting in front of the computer and mashing comics.”  And at least I can provide some public service by trying to interpret the newest story-line in The Phantom, with its mysterious appearance of creatures that are know to the locals as “Croccos.”  Croccos?!

(The photo of the stack of Crocs was taken by a tourist in Parma, Italy. It just makes me happy, all jolly and bright and sunny!)

God bless us, everyone! (Even vampires!)

Apologies to Bob Weber, Jr. (Slylock Fox’s dad), who does a keen site for kids and encourages to draw and cartoon.  For no good reason at all, I can apparently channel the mind of a 10-year-old boy.