By bats | January 10, 2009 - 1:26 pm
Posted in Category: Trust Me, I'm a Doctor

You Tube is dangerous to one’s creativity (or lack of it. or the ability to make good on it. I dunno.).  Not only can I find several of the intros to the old 70s and 80s series “The Love Boat” on it, but in my mind, I can see it being so much better utilizing the current story in Rex Morgan.

In my mind.

I don’t have the mad skillz for animation (or for singing like Jack Jones), so you’ll just have to hum the new lyrics to yourself as you recall the intro and slip the frames in as necessary.

I imagine “guest stars” would include Kathleen “Dixie Julep” Patterson (subbing for Juliet Prowse), Max “the Ax” Malloy (ditto for Van Johnson), and Dr. Andy Reed (who gets stuck in there somewhere, just because he’s Rex’s friend).

My Loathe Boat theme:

Sex, with no strings attached,
Climb aboard.
Don’t remain unmatched.
Sex, bang the old headboard.
Morals go,
Will you remain unscratched?

The Loathe Boat
Is heading flat-out for bankruptcy
The Loathe Boat, filled with drunks and debauchery.
Set your eye on a steward,
Your mind on a noon-time fling.

Sex won’t hurt anymore
Get some KY from the medical store

It’s Seeeeeeeeeex!
Hello sailor – It’s Seeeeex!

Of course, one of the undeniable masters of song parody is CC’s Dingo, and if you want a second verse, here’s his version (Hi, Dingo, if you want me to delete this, I will…but it’s so dang good!):

The Rex Boat

Rex, that closeted fool
Pour a drink and push in his stool
Rex, here’s your chance for to take
Treat that Latin cock, like a T-bone steak!

The Rex boat, overboard both June and kid will go
The Rex boat promises Guido Tomas he’ll blow
If you take doctor’s orders
His moral borders will fall

And Rex won’t hurt anymore
Thanks to AstroGlide, he’s a hirsute whore!
It’s Rex!
Welcome aboard
It’s Rex!

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