Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

…here’s a quick update on the very peculiar domestic abuse/exotic animal as pet storyline in Mark Trail.

Bucky the deer was shot by Patty’s husband Ken;
Bucky was only grazed by the bullet and ran off.
Bucky got in a tussle with another deer, and their antlers locked.
Mark hack-sawed the deer free of one another.
Bucky ran off in a panic.
Ken went out looking for Patty in the woods and came across Bucky.
Bucky gored Ken and ran off.
Mark and Patty found Ken.
Patty blames herself for … um, I guess everything: Ken’s injuries, Bucky’s flight, the global economic melt-down, the hole in the ozone layer caused by aerosol hairspray.

Bottom line: Ken’s hurt! Patty’s hysterical! Mark’s … um, I dunno.

…the current Phantom storyline goes belly-up, excitement-wise, or just treats us yet again to the half-clad, creepy physiques of the Walker twins, here’s my volley across the prow…

Guido continues to be the Man of One Thousand Expressions (none of them natural).  However, Rex knows who the hero is (if not the eponym) of this strip!

That’s my guy!

For some reason, this one gave me fits…I kept missing little fixes and messing up the dialog.  I really need to make notes and not rush things. I think this is the finished product!]

And try as I might to ignore most of the Phantom’s antics (hey, sailing around on an automated boat isn’t exactly the most exciting thing in the world, but it’s currently beating

A) My Interminable Dinner with Mary Worth;
(B) Less Chit-Chat, More Chest! at Judge Parker’s retirement party; and
(C) Let’s Find Donut Boy! Or Rex ‘n’ Guido in a Clinch! Or Do Something Cool with Count Morgu!)

Sigh.

It’s an obvious gimme.  But you’ll feel better if you do, Katherine (that’s Judge Parker Sr.’s hot mama of a trophy wife):

Yeah, you were all thinking it.  First Judge Parker’s retirement party, with every single woman attending in very little fabric and a whole lotta skin.

Then a return to Lost Forest, with Patty still looking for her wounded pet deer Bucky.  She finds him, his antlers caught up in those of another young buck.

Can you say “rack”?  I knew you could.

Thanks to Calvin’s Cardboard Box over at CC, for those immortal words:

MT: Wow, lookit those racks get tangled up!
JP: Wow, lookit those racks get tangled up!

Well, it’s time to check in and see what The Phantom is planning to do to control the reptilian menace that is the help the ecologically-threatened Croccos!  It’ll be dangerous, no doubt…so let’s get the kids involved! Yay!

And while we’re doing that, let’s scare the bejabbers out of innocent bystanders! Yay!

Here I am, playing the apologist for Mark Trail.  While the real strip seems to indicate that the economic downturn is reason enough for lumberman Ken to take out his frustrations on his wife, rather than all the good folks at Lehman Brothers et al., I’d like to think that Mark knows what’s right and what’s wrong.

At least when his attention isn’t divided.

In the realm of fan-fiction, there’s a category known as PWP (“Plot? What plot?”), and it’s used as an excuse or justification to write a snippet that is nothing more than filthy, filthy sex.

Which is okay (Well, unless the writer can’t write. Then it’s just excrutiating to read.).

I have a feeling that Judge Parker’s Barreto is developing the visual counterpart to that.

Which is also okay.

A recent Rex Morgan had June making a fierce pucker.  I figured (although it kinda creeped me out) that matching it with a previous Rex pucker might make an interesting belated Valentine.  So I went to my stash.

Do you know how many freakin’ puckers these people put on?!? It’s a damned grapefruit/lemon/lime fiesta!  Don’t even get me started on the “close calls”!

The only saving grace is that Andy Reed has never demonstrated such a thing.  Don’t you dare, Mr. Nolan!