Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

Who cares if she’s more mature than Luann? (shhhhh….don’t tell Luann.)

At least Luann knows how to handle an emergency…

Wow…just how stupid is Luann?

Meanwhile, on a quiet, lonely street in Pitts, CA (a modest burb of Santa Royale)….

The mystery of Puddles continues…

Where, oh where, has Puddles gone?!?? Egads…taken by the Three Stooges!

Ain’t it great that Bernice is soooooo empathetic?

I think this would be a great solution (of course, it would never happen):

Slogging toward a climax…

Oh, look…Luann’s new job, tutoring “troubled youth” (aka, delinquents)…

Even if you’re a ROCK STAR…you die. And then you’re forgotten.

Luann’s latest career choice bites the big one…

Really mature.

Really, really mature…

Now Bets wants to spend all of Christmas with Gunth, instead of joining the hell that is part of all the rest of her family….

She’s back, and she’s apparently a Wonderful Archery Teacher…so how could this be trouble with a hoard of grade-schoolers and Luann?

Actually, I only snaked on this because the pissy “principal” of this after-school program can’ form whole sentences, or even partial sentences, or throw in an occasional part of speech.

So Luann got called on the carpet (just not a dirty red one, like Tara’s)….

I like how incompetent, etc., leaders are just shuffled around Kids 1st (like the LDS and Roman Catholic Churches, for starters…)

I guess it’s about time to be bored to tears with Bernice and what passes for romance.

And someone hasn’t scooped this sad-sack up yet?!?? Then again, she’d probably kill a pet rock (there ARE more important things in her life, you know…

It seems the storyline, such as it is, has something to do with Bornice’s love-life. Or lack of it. But we ought to keep in mind what a huge intellect she has…

Fun with Shannon (I don’t think “Fun with Luann” is ever a possibility).

Luann…the definition of a ‘killjoy.”

Fortunately, Luann’s been dumped…unfortunately, her stupid brother Bwad makes an appearance. (At least he’s been goomphed…)

I think not.

What’s going on in Ashlee’s brain (or Drew’s for that matter? or Saul? or Greta? or Wilbur?)

Miracles DO happen! (and so do outlandish conclusions to lame plots…)

Wow…I guess Trashlee really turned over a new leaf…

(This is about as “new leaf” as any of these losers get…

And as Drew’s latest love sinks slowly into the West (or somewhere else)…

· Edit thi

…or, maybe, the Evansii can.

You just have to wait…

Eh, screw it.

pleaseohpleaseohplease…

And end scene.

And then there are times when Bernice and Luann just spend time together…

And even pretend to be young, mature adults!!

Of course, Gunther won’t listen at all, the simp.

And you just thought it was another dull evening at work…

Meanwhile, at Gloomy Gus Manor…

Yuck.

Guess what? Tiffany’ NOT the villain!

What times are these when we find ourselves cheering for the villain?

They’re everywhere, Tiff. Everywhere.

At least Bets and Gunth are sitting at the same (and only) table…

Villain or not, Tiffany says what we’re all thinking and hoping for…

All’s well that ends for people we don’t care about…

Or maybe not…

Oh, who the hell cares?

Two weeks into the breakup, and it’s still crap.

More crap.

Please go away (Tiffany can stay, Gunth and Betas need to fall down a deep, dark hole)…

I think this dead horse is well and truly beaten, but I like to think that Tiffany has learned some great, usable thing that will allow her to far outshine the common creeps around her, like Gunth and Bets.

Bets has left Gunth stranded in the Weinie World parking lot, but at least he doesn’t have to resot fo turning trick to get home. Bernice and Luann have nowhere else to go on a Friday night!

The analysis session moves into the WW lobby, which I’m sure makes the staff oh-so-happy at having to keep the place open for an extra hour for two damned small sodas!

And while Gunth heads home and is summarily forgotten by his peers and the comic strip audience in favor of a new rip-roaring adventure featuring a freakin’ goldfish, don’t be so quick to blow him…. oh, yea, blow him OFF!

Bernice goes on a blind date with the artistic Nil. Shenanigans are pretty much nonexistent…

Don’t waste your time, Luann’s mom. Really.

…only that a friend of Luann’s (not Bernice or the few others) is run over by the friend’s criminal cousin after having burglarized The Fuse (the restaurant owned by Luann’s folks).
See? I told you it was stupid.

What will happen next. Or should I say, “Do any of us really care?” (Nice to know that Ann Eiffel has a job with Emergency Repsponse Services, though.)

And once again, no one ever dies in the Realm of Luann…they only wish that they did.

Whew! everyone’s safe and/or the cartoonist has lost interest. Instead, let’s have some young adult hijinks about wasting your time and money at college and having FUN instead, because you’re girlfriend wants you to, and you’re too much of a spineless creep to say otherwise!

Let’s drop all these half-baked teen dramas that go nowhere, and instead fixate on real, adult stories that continue to a real, logical conclusion…
Oh, come on! These two gits engendered the twerp Luann!

Late-night work hours can have advantages…

Of course, this racy routine quickly fades; it is Luann, after all.
Hold everything! the races continues!

New story (since the cartoonist apparently lost interest along the way)!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…..

In the real strip and in the snark, both end up happily IMHO…

YOW!!!! This is going on for a SECOND WEEK?!?? Pardon me while I clutch my pearls!

(For those giving a rat’s ass, this “story,” such as it is, is going on Week 3!!!

Bernice is having Boy problems (this is only made funnier because she apparently has a crush on her biological brother…ho ho!) Best to confide in a meathead, right?

Or follow Ma DeGroot’s suggestion and read some soft-core porn for middle Americans…

Not that soft-core porn for middle Americans pays much attention to grammar or editing…

Do it, Bernice…DO EET!!! I’ll give you a bright, shiny quarter…

Just because I want SOMEONE to tell Luann to STFU.