Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

Behavior…based on genetics or on the environment?

It’s amazing how itty-bitty bits of DNA do contribute to the strangest things: eye color, webbed toes, vestigial tails, and now…

Oh, I see, we’re not going with the Nancy-on-the-prowl theme.  The garbage man is Dirk.  He used to be Toni’s boyfriend and he beat up Brad, too (the appropriate responses here are “So?” and “YAY!”).  There’s been a restraining order on him to stay away from Brad, which was a convenient way to write him out of the story.

(I had to look this up on Wikipedia — I wasn’t gawking at Luann with the morbid fascination of someone passing a train-wreck when he was in the script.)

So, now, we’re all caught up.  And Nancy proves to be the most conniving and scheming practical character in the strip.

[Heh.  She said “strip.”]

Oh, look! Even more Science!:

Next…a garage band! Yeah!

Argh. I do NOT want to be dragged into this story-line. Or the Luann universe. Help me…

The fallout from Gunther’s fallout (har!) continues in Luann.   Oh, so many ways for the twists and turns for adolescents to take!

Here’s one!

And here’s another!

Such ribaldry!

Well, it seems that “give it a rest, guy,” is not in Greg Evans’ vocabulary.

in your heart of hearts, you just know this strip isn’t going to deliver anything as funny/sick/twisted as you can possibly imagine.

Okay.  Maybe “nausea-inducing”:

Did I say “nausea-induding”?  How about “out-and-out barf-spewing”?

At least in the color version, “Billy the Bookworm” is Caterpillar Green, not something like Throbbing Phallic Fuschia or something like that.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanddddddddd…let’s wrap this up with a little girl talk (for the record, all I did was recaption the strip — no messing with the illustration):

Let’s see.

Dead horse.  Check.

2×4.  Check.

End of the week.  Check.

Really, Luann.  Really.  No one cares that you saw a guy naked.  Really.

Oh, come on, Brad — you’ll love it!

You hear me?

You. Will. Love. It.

I don’t know if some of this can even be considered love…

…but annoying, definitely.

Brad, you don’t have to please your mother to fall in love.

But at this point, several years after you started mooning after Toni, fine, go ahead, please your mother. Move back into the house (preferably the basement), wait for Dad to die and Luann to leave, so you and Mom can live your sick little lives out together. Maybe take up taxidermy.

I’ve no doubt Toni will be just fine.

…the Drama Queens were never this bad.

I’m not fond of Luann. Yes, teens might think that the universe revolves around them, but unlike most toddlers, they do know otherwise (they just like to think that the world revolves around them).  I see no real difference between Luann and her nemesis, the girl you’re supposed to hate, Tiffany, other than Luann gets a lot more panel-time and because she’s all swell, or something.

Anyway, it’s the end of the spring musical. Yay.

Could it be?  Is Neddy actually returning this century today to Spencer Farms?

Does Sam love Smucker’s?