So Billy’s bitching about something or other that Dolly’s doing.
Who cares, Billy? You little weasel, always tattling on some minutiae that no one (not Mommy, not Daddy, not Barfy, not Mr. Wilson) gives a rat’s ass about.
Maybe you need to raise the bar on your whining.
(The strange thing is, when I was looking for images of tattoo guns, I discovered several mashups/parodies out there for “My First Tattoo Gun,” done in pastels and/or bright colors, nice and big so that little hands can handle them safely and build hand/eye coodination. I figured Dolly’s already a pro, though…)
In the original panel, Big Daddy is holding Billy up by his ankles, who seems to find this a high point in his educational career: “Now I know what people in Australia feel like!”. Too bad Big Daddy didn’t give Billy a swirlie so he could compare the the Coriolus Effect in the Northern and Southern Hemispheres.
Then again, it seems like Big Daddy had other things in mind:
about the Keane Kompound and its denizens, but at least the mirrors work.
Well, aside from the horrific spectral beings populating them.
Clean up in Jeffy’s pants…clean up in Jeffy’s pants…
Funky Winterbean has temporarily suspended the Vortex of Middle Age Doom to return to the Abyss of High School Tomfoolery and Frosh Torture. Ah, just like the good old days.
(For a really large, really unnecessary picture of naked Jeffy, try to find the 30 September 2009 Family Circus. On second thought, you really don’t want to see this. Trust me.)
Oh, Jeffy! Oh, Billy! You two little casaba-heads make things so easy!
Of course, we can always class up the joint by an episode of “AeroSquid Modern Literary Classics” (In Color!):
“What are you drawing ?
“NOW you’re interested ? What’s your angle ?”
“No angle. I’m on the up and up. What is that ? ”
“Since you SEEM interested, I’ll let you in on it.”
“I’m all ears. Lay it on me, Jackson.”
“Well. You know what a Tesla coil is ?”
“I think so. That thing that goes: BZZZ BZZZ ?”
“Crude sound effect, but accurate.”
“Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Anyway…..”
“Anyway, as Mommy recited her oblations to the Old Ones the night before, I noted a small, almost undetectable variance in the third realm of Baoht Z’uqqa-Mogg. You worship Baoht Z’uqqa-Mogg….don’t you ?”
“Yes. Yes I do.”
“You’re lying. Baoht Z’uqqa-Mogg knows it and I know it.”
“Okay. You got me. I’m not an adherent. I worship Nug and Yeb.”
“The Twin Blasphemies ? Ha ! You might as well lay with Shub-Niggurath !”
“The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young ? Men have died for less for such impolitness !”
“Anyway….”
“Anyway…”
“I’m drawing a pee pee. HAHAHAHAH!”
“HAHAHAHAHA!”
Mark your calendars: a Family Circus that is vaguely amusing. Little Jeffy (#2 son in every sense of the word) complains to his mother, “Aw, Mommy! ‘My Brother’s Clothes’ really isn’t a brand name, is it?” Maybe he’s not the clod that we thought.
Not that I’m going to pass up a golden opportunity to mash up a picture of pantsless Jeffy:
And come to think of it, there is a strange resemblance when Jeffy isn’t quite put together:
CC’s own Alfred E. Neuman, intrigued by this startling revelation, conducted a short but hard-hitting interview with Mommy Keane and Ziggy. It’s worthy of a spot on “60 Minutes,” I think:
AEN: Ziggy and Jeffy have remarkably similar coloring. This suggests the possibility that Ziggy is the father. Do either of you think that is possible?
Thel: Ida know.
Ziggy: Not me!
Well, I thought of the obvious (gut-busting laugh #1), but CC’s Wenkelmobil pointed out that PJ was mysteriously absent from the car (gut-busting laugh #2)…
…which pretty much is all the funny one sees in an average of two weeks’ worth of Family Circus.
Poor Pig! He just wants a little contemplative peace…
Even so, there are a few bright spots in the universe (and the Internet):
Yeah, it’s a big ol’ schmaltz-a-thon for my buds at The Comics Curmudgeon ( http://joshreads.com ). I did rework this to include some of the classic catch phrases of the site.
And is anything more relaxing that kampin’ with the Keanes?
