Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

Yes, this wouldn’t be half as much fun if Wolverine weren’t guest-spotting in Spiderman…

Friday’s episode was odd.  Only two panels, Mary (and JEFF!) in one, playing some sort of game and Jeff looking seriously whacked out.  The second panel has Delilah looking quite dashing in a purple jumpsuit (of course it was closed to the neck. of course I fixed that.), mad as hell.  Not that it really made any sense to mash up, but that’s never stopped me before.

Or, when life gives you a naked, wet, dripping Jeffy, make shameful, ruthless fun of him.

So, the 15 July 2009 Family Circus has little Jeffy answering the door naked and telling the unlucky woman on the stoop that his mother is giving him a bath and maybe she ought to come back later.  Ha. Ha.

Funny thing, Jeffy was in the same position as Becky was in the Sunday Funky Winkerbean (yes, that Funky Winkerbean).  Nice to know that if Becky can’t answer the door, we have a dependable substitute:

And there’s always just making fun of the strip (ahem) at hand:

And lest you think the Morgans’ cruise to the Bahamas or Barbados or Bora Bora or Barcelona is going well, think again:

Well, the Keanes come through on the all-American holiday, chowing down on all-American food and doing all-American things.  The original was published on 4 July 2009, and you can tell by the flag that it was ‘specially created for Indepence Da

The holiday weekend is still alive in Bil and Thel’s mind as they take their brood out to the park, choosing a lovely picnic site directly over an ant colony.  Fortunately, there are only 41 ants in the colony, not counting the queen, so what’s an errant bite here or there?

Unless the ants are the size of terriers! Aaaaiiiiiiiiiyyyy!

I think people would be happier and a whole lot more forgiving if the Keanes just owned up: “Hey, we’re not even trying anymore. If all of our fans send $20 to this address by 31 December every year, we’ll have the syndicate pull our strip.”

Yeah, that’s going to happen. So we’re doomed to not-funny panels that don’t even lend themselves to funnier mashups. Sigh.

[Original caption: “It’s called a flower BED because that’s where the flowers sleep at night.” No, I am not making this up.]

I did make this up:

And the scary (literally and figuratively) about this one is while searching for a suitable tentacled celebrity with which to mash, is how many other variations on this FC/HP Lovecraft theme I ran across. The horror! The unspeakable, horrible horror!

And will it be even remotely humorous?

The original caption for this panel’s laughfest: “Know what? Today is yesterday’s tomorrow and it’s tomorrow’s yesterday.”

Wow. I bet Kant and Nietzche are running scared with Deep Thoughts like that, Billy. Oh, wait — they’re dead. Just like this strip. No, this is really more “insipid”…

Poor Dolly’s ethnic dining choices in the metro Phoenix area are a little more limited these days, with the closing of the Pink Taco in Scottsdale. (No, really!)

Let this be a lesson to you, little Miss Know-It-All.

Yes, Billy, make another one of your inept, clumsy play on words.  Your siblings are oblivious to them, but old people throughout the U.S. will chuckle and nod, “That Billy! What a card!”

No, she’s not called Grandma because it’s Grand when she’s around.  However, I have to give you credit for your increased vocabulary. (Your sibs will still be oblivious, however…)

It’s been far too long (but not long enough) since Dolly graced us all with her delightful malapropisms.  If the Keane Klan were living in the modern age, as opposed to the Middle Ages, she would’ve been in speech therapy 30 years ago (which is two years in Keane-time).

(Jeffy’s own “illumination” is my contribution to the bubble.  I also love his expression, a subtle (and probably unintentional, considering how these creatures seem to have a whole crayon box of 8 facial expressions) reaction to Dolly Spew Speak.

And for the rationale behind this one, I can only heap the blame upon credit CC’s Sequitur.  Explain it? I don’t think I can:

…no matter how obvious.

[The original panel had the phrase “Silence is Golden” embossed on what appears to be a framed billiard table top.  Where in God’s green earth would you see something like that? A library? A church apse? The Keane’s living room? I figure my interpretation is as logical.]