Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

The jig is up, Guido. We all knew it. And it probably would’ve been pretty low-key, aside from the squealings of pig-boy little Willy.

I so want a Charterstone pool party to happen, I can taste it. Of course, this is only so I can use some hawt June Morgan bikini shots to freak out Mary and the gang (and possibly give Chinbeard a coronary). In the meantime, I continue to reflect on the non-funnyness of many “comics,” and figure if you can’t be funny, at least you ought to look good.

I might’ve considered Second Officer Guido Tomas’ reaction appropriate if Willy were radioactive, or wielding an AK-47, or were on fire, but gee whiz, this is just a little too histrionic for words.

Rex Morgan, P.I.? As CC’s Artist Formerly Known as Ben noted, Rex better not consider a career as a poker player — that’s just what I thought with his whispering into the phone, a la Homer Simpson.

Okay, you have June Morgan soakin’ up the sun, enjoying life, and you just have to mess with it. No, really!

Then you mess with it a little more:

And then you just go overboard:

At least we’re some distance from Dr. Roberto “El Flash” Gomez and back with June on the balcony of the Morgans’ new quite. Carry on, Rex. Carry on, June.

“I’m out of it for a little while, and everyone gets delusions of boredom.”

So, I’m at a computer trade show in Las Vegas for five days (well, my husband is…I tag along for the buffets), and Nothing Happens. Sure, there’s poison being dumped in LoFo, an arranged marriage to be, um, arranged in Santa Royale, a nice chicken to be baked at Spencer Farms (hopefully, that won’t be the only thing to be baked, but I digress), and NO SIGN OF JUNE IN HER BIKINI!

What the deuce?!  Instead, Rex and Dr. Gomez have spent five days (six, if you count Saturday) sitting and talking! THIS is a cruise?

To be honest, however, it takes two mashups and a lot of sophomoric humor to fit in all the great, earnest expressions.  And just how sad it that?

(And we’re not talking about Mary Worth’s newest venture into hip lingo of the times.)

UPDATE!!!:  Believe it or don’t, Rex (yes, REX!) appears to be willing to get jiggy wit’ it! And not even Sarah can cockblock him or kill his buzz…Rex is a playa! (not to be confused with a playa, which is a large, flat piece of earth that might contain a thin layer of water during a desert’s rainy season)

Rex. June. Bed. Bikini. Hero. Primary. Secondary. Colors. Sheer. Cover-up.

Monday Update:  Fish cakes. Snuggling. Touching. All on Sarah’s bed.

The verdict: HAWT!

…or weird, earnest looks, either!

When we last saw our intrepid he-men, they were celebrating Judge Alan Parker’s retirement.  I like to think (just because this little mashup needs a back-story), that Randy Parker realizes how easily friendships can fade away, and he resolves to keep them strong! (And he gets bored having lunch with Sam Driver all the time.)

Panel 3 is the original: expression, words, bold type, you name it.  Panel 5 is a paraphrase of the original, with Rex asserting to Sarah that we have to help other people “…now more than ever!”, accompanied by Rex’s icy-blue stare of sincerity.  I swear, it was like a PSA for, um, something!

Update or something…: I couldn’t leave Randy & Co. at the Fern Grille without using yet another fabulous Rex reaction shot.   After this little soiree, Randy’s eating lunch at Subway.  Alone.  From now on.