Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

Or maybe not. Anyway, I loved Mark Trail when I was growing up because it was just like “Wild Kingdom” (well, without Jim Fowler being squeezed to death on a fairly regular basis by an anaconda, all the while being cheered on by Marlin Perkins) — they were about ANIMALS, and I just loved animals!

Of course, the years pass, I discover The Comics Curmudgeon and people of similar humorous bents. Maybe it was Red Greenback’s surreal combining of two Sunday episodes of Mark Trail and Rex Morgan, M.D., or maybe it was DAS speculating how Mark would explain MRSA (I think it involved a talking beaver).

Whatever the inspiration, thanks to those two gentleman: speculating like that can’t be left languishing!

(A side-note, not that you care: my first mashup of Rex Morgan and Mark Trail just happened to be with each other. Go check out “Ducklings? What Ducklings?” to see some hot flannel-on-khaki action!)

That Type-A (personality, not blood-type preference) Andy! Not only does his lab work demonstrate that those grimy wrestling mats were harboring MRSA, but that Justin Mallory’s was selling marijuana to his buddies. Gotta love him!

And the film-noir panel of Andy is just gorgeous…

Now here’s something worth cheering: that modern classic, The Quality of MRSA, is not yet complete! MRSA is still a Hot Topic.

Well, it is if you’re a six-year-old, and you think you’re Daddy is “special.”

Enough kidding around, though…there’s labwork to be done, and we all know Rex isn’t about to do it:

And although the news might be good, everyone’s just a little tense while waiting for the results.

With heaven as my witness, we have not seen the last of Andreu, Count Morgu! [shake fists, rail at the sky, drop to knees, fall asleep]

Okay, so dragging suspect mats out of a basement isn’t exciting. Culturing the mats and doing the necessary labwork to test the mats isn’t exciting.

But geez…this is such a let-down (kind of like when the Comics Curmudgeon, Josh Fruhlinger, lost on Jeopardy on 22 July). Josh did very well on the show — he was just up against an automaton, that’s all. Yay, Josh!

And now, back to other disappointments…

…or maybe all the fun. As the Mystery of the Mats slogs forward, I am left with having to punch up the script.

Not that anyone asked me to. And in this case, it isn’t Shakespearean dialog, either.

Still no Shakespeare in sight, but priceless for Janice Mallory’s “Don’t play dumb with me!”. I couldn’t make up stuff like that!

And this is pretty much wraps up my feelings toward personal injury lawyers…

Geez, Louise! Max is trying to distract the cop and shut his wife up, Wifey is going ballastic, and the cop probably just wants to leave this lunatic asylum (or at least the driveway to the lunatic asylum). But hey, anything to move the plot along!

The fun continues on Sunday (20 July) with a completely-clueless policeman.  (With a potential public health nightmare like a MRSA outbreak, wouldn’t it make sense to notify all public officials as to the potential problems something like this could cause?)

This is way more fun:

Right. Just as soon as the shady lawyer tries to talk his way out of several traffic citations.
Rex perfects his sleuthing.
Andy is just going to have a heart attack.
Life is good. I love this strip.

Aaaaaaaaaand….Rex is distracted again!

Does it get any better? Max “the Ax” Mallory, Personal Injury Attorney, realizes that HE might be harboring the MRSA source in his own basement! Screaming at his kid and wife over his cell phone, driving like a nut-case, being seen by Rex (and a cop, too!) — well heck, does it get any better?

You bet! Rex calls Andy! (And no, I didn’t make any of this up — this all happened over the last week of strips. I couldn’t make this sh*t up! But I can embellish it!)

Hmm, well.  The action-packed panels of last week, with Max Mallory breaking several traffic laws while trying his damnedest to have a coronary arrest while he does so brakes to a snail’s pace with more chit-chat between Andy and Rex.  Not that I mind, since I love Andy’s long-suffering stance and comment in Panel 1, and it also showcases Rex’s keen, analytical thinking.

Oh, yeah.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I’ll just go and add a bit here, since Rex’s Big Plan is to do some Junior Detective Work (complete with Dick (snort!) Tracy Crime-Stoppers code ring, no doubt). I’m just waiting, while he and Andy are on the phone, for Mrs. Mallory to spill the beans to the cop, and for a Haz-Mat squad and every last firetruck in Morganville U.S.A. to run over Rex.

I have to admit that Rex skulking around corners has a certain, moronic charm, though, and something Even more unexpected could happen…

…as an adult, Jeffy K. is probably still wearing a raincoat. But for different reasons.

So there’s a panel with Dolly proudly announcing to Mommy that she’s gotten Jeffy ready so that he’ll be safe from exposure to the sun. At last — we know where the mythical Keanes live! ON MERCURY!

Of course, this means, Jeffy can obviously jet all over the place…

other places in the galaxy…

…and even other comics universes…