And yet, somehow the nonsense that Heloise is writing meshes perfectly with the nonsense that controls every breathing moment of Amos and Eddas’s lives…

And in the slightly alternate Phantom universe (that is, the story on Sunday is different — YES! I KNOW! — from the story that transpires during the week)….

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Comments Off on Just in case you’re a little unfamiliar with that oh-so-sweet “Love is…”

Bets has left Gunth stranded in the Weinie World parking lot, but at least he doesn’t have to resot fo turning trick to get home. Bernice and Luann have nowhere else to go on a Friday night!

The analysis session moves into the WW lobby, which I’m sure makes the staff oh-so-happy at having to keep the place open for an extra hour for two damned small sodas!

And while Gunth heads home and is summarily forgotten by his peers and the comic strip audience in favor of a new rip-roaring adventure featuring a freakin’ goldfish, don’t be so quick to blow him…. oh, yea, blow him OFF!

Bernice goes on a blind date with the artistic Nil. Shenanigans are pretty much nonexistent…

Don’t waste your time, Luann’s mom. Really.

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By bats | April 21, 2021 - 4:24 pm
Posted in Category: Three-Ring Freakshow

If if was going to be any of the Melonheads asking for Tootsie Rolls, it would be Jeffy…

It pays to plan ahead…

Billy is just enamored with those ’40’s mobster movies.

I’m fairly sure, Dolly’s logic is flawed, but it’s not like I give a rat’s ass for any of the Melonheads…

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By bats | April 17, 2021 - 9:00 am
Posted in Category: Three-Ring Freakshow

Why we ought to have plushie toys…and NO PETS…

The Case Against Science: A short time ago, someone who follows the comics curmudgeon and his merry crew post”The Visible Woman” as something that Dolly might be taken with (a little playmate had mentioned –during Dolly’s bathtime — that she knew all the “real” names for body parts)! Well, Dolly would only be overwhelmed by it all if The Visible Woman were something hearer and dearer to to egotistic female melonhead herself…BEHOLD!

Kinda like The Handmaid’s Tale, only lamer.

Comments Off on Not to be confused with the “bottom of the morning”…
By bats | April 12, 2021 - 12:56 pm
Posted in Category: Most maryWorthy

Even if there isn’t a problem…Mary will have an answer!

Come on, Jeff — MAN UP! DON’T LET MARY GET INVOLVED!!!

What could Drew’s problem(s) be? And can Mary well and truly fix them?

A “fashion model to be,” Ashlee, introduces herself to Dr. Drew and they make a date for a photoshoot. What would possibly go wrong?!??

How about Drew actually having to respond to an EMERGENCY at the hospital?!?? No, that kind of think only happens in the comic stri…. oh, never mind.

It’s nice to think that if things go well, Ashlee could be the beautiful, deranged wife of a handsome doctor!

And sometimes second panel isn’t even needed…

Comments Off on It’s like a brand-new comic strip!
By bats | April 5, 2021 - 12:51 pm
Posted in Category: Most maryWorthy

Week 3849 of the Saul ‘n’ Eve Romance, or something like that.

I begin to wonder whether Saul or Eve has short-term memory loss…or if you can achieve hybrid vigor with memory loss if they BOTH have it…

And if you can believe the current (boring) storyline in Rex Morgan, cross-genre plots very rarely work…

UH-oh…here come the Wazdoodlians!

All these annoying invasions. At least it’s something new.

Intense alien intrigue. Boring hooman conversation.

Yay! We weak hoomans live! Time for Froyo…and a LOT of it!!!

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By bats | April 3, 2021 - 2:51 pm
Posted in Category: Pulling the Plug(ger)

And sometimes you miss the boat, or the flash mob….

A win-win situation (and you can save the baggie for another job…how Green!!).

There’s more than one way to outfit a cat…

During the week, between those trips to the barber…

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By bats | April 2, 2021 - 4:14 pm
Posted in Category: I Smell Something Funky

I rarely snark on Tom Batitutitk because his strips are so darn boring (Funky Winkerbean, Crankshaft). Even this isn’t much of a snark; the best thing might be if that CC’s John Long lifted my final panel to snark on it!
In case you care, Mr. Dinkle has been hired as an organist (snerk) at a local church of Satan or St. Tedium or something…

Comments Off on So rare. So boring.
By bats | March 29, 2021 - 11:22 am
Posted in Category: Most maryWorthy

Does therapy work? You be the judge!

Well, did the expensive therapy work? Maybe, but the biggest piece of news today….PERSON OF COLOR!!! PERSON OF COLOR in today’s Mary Worth! (that sorta looks like a color a real person might have…)

More insights into whether Eve’s problems have been addressed (“solved” is just too much to be hoped.)

Could all Eve and Saul’s problems be solved? Is this the end? hahahahahahahahahahahahaha……

Sunday strips, with their additional blathering, hold so much promise. Well, prepare to be disappointed, losers!

Comments Off on Face it…all of these people need help. STAT