Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

…which is to say “not very much.”

It’s hard to decide…does Dawn want to spill her guts or gloat to Mary? Maybe she’s just looking for a free hand-out.

And has all this soul-searching and clarity-seeking caused Dawn to grow up, even a teensy bit?

“Who’s sick of Mary?”
“WE ARE! WE ARE!“

Dammitall! Dawn just can’t keep from telling anything that’ll listen how wondeful Jared is. Fortunately, only Mary appears cornered at the moment.

The Weston I.Q. just keeps spiraling down, down, downward…

We DESERVE a pool-party, after all this miserable excuse for young (yeah, right) love!! While I was on hiatus, something thrilling supposedly happened!
(A) Mary dives in to save li’l Jeffy Keane!
(B) Mary cives in to save the octopus and/or calamari from weak-bladdered Jeffy Keane!
(C) Who dares? Maybe she’ll drown!
WHO CARES?!?? WE DESERVE IT!!

…Luann’s mom is now a bar-fly (but she gets paid for it), so Luann and her dad have to split the domestic duties. Which means Luann has to pretend how to cook. Thank heavens some random guy bumps into her, so her can be oh-so-cutely distracted!

Meanwhile, Mama DeGroot is having less than a good time at work, having a miserable time with Ann Eiffel, who only wants to “help” run the bistro well (like well into the ground). Mrs. DeGroot finally (yay!) tell Ann to hit the bricks — who knew it was meant literally?

That’s right…the Spencers! And all of the cast of Juggs Parker!

And why is that?

Because the plots are turgid! At least Sophie is wallowing in self-pity and teen-age angst and…and…well, Sophie’s the same as she ever was, too.

…even seeps into the Pluggerverse.

Which leads us to the man —> man-dog —> loser pizza-shop owner.

This kinda freaked me out, or at least gave me a short-lived goosebump reaction:

What needs to be said (although one of the folks from FB’s Readers of the Comics Curmudgeon is pretty sure that Pluggers will prevent Earth from joining the United Federation of Planets someday…)

Merely “an obervation…”

…Moy has run out of ideas. Mary Worth is dead. Everyone at Charterstone (except for Wilbut, his ladyfriend and Libby) is dead. All of Santa Royale is dead. It’s a pandemic of Dumb, people! Why do you thing Dawn and Jerod are still in the airport?!??

Well, it looks like either Dawn and/or Jerod are bored with standing around the airport terminal…time to head home!

Evidently, Jerod manages to slip by the Elephant Man, and it’s time to head home some more!

Even a blind pig finds the occasional acorn:

So, it’s Mother’s Day, and Cayla gets to spend it in Funkyville OH, listening to Les whinge about having no luck on getting Dead Lisa My Very Own Wife movie into production. (Oh, and he’s in Hollywood BTW.)
Good God, is Cayla that desperate that she’ll stick with Les until she dies?
Les is a complete and utter asshole. The End.

And yet, after a weeken of whining, Les and his crap-for-brains agent Mason continue to hit the Hollywood streets, hoping for a green light!

Okay, sure. I’m officially bored with everything in Funky WInkerbean. Do the hell whatever Batuik and your avatar want…

With the Keane family sheltering at home (opleaseopleaseoplease), everyone plans for the time when the isolation ends and celebrations can resume…

Yes, EVERYONE…

Still, everything is back to normal at the end of the day…

New day…whatever.

Yeah, Big Daddy, I’m sure we’re all looking forward to the end of shelter-from-home and the religious debates that our daily conversations have devolved into…

Billy’s lucky. If I’d said anything clever or off-the-cuff to my mother, it would’ve been a good, hard slap. None of this namby-pamby wave-a-towel_around stuff…

So the stay-at-home restrictions have been lifted, not that anyone anticipates Jeffy going outside and appalling the neighbors.

Four hours? Seven hours? Two weeks? A month! I guess it’s long enough for us to get reacquainted with Jerod and remember just how contemptible he is!

I suppose the take-home message is that the flight may take a long time, but air travel is at least 110% safe! Just relax, Jerod…Dawn will be touching down at the Santa Royale International Airport/Waffle House in minutes or hours or something…

HOUR 46 of Dawn’s NY to Santa Royal flight…and Jerod has the sads again:

Oh, those mean doctors! As if Jerod doesn’t have enough on his plate!

Home again! Home again! Just watch out for Dawn’s jet skidding the Pacific…

…and if that doesn’t work: “So long, Screwy — see ya in St. Louie!“

Homeward bound! Can you believe it? It’s been such a grea…..oh. Look. It’s Jerod.

…an interesting little strip from Argentina that features witches, penguins, the occasional big, furry monster (OLGA), and a girl and her cat Fellini (not all at once).