Snark It Up, FuzzBall!

…and it looks like Jeff and Adrian have already been hitting the spiked eggnog/’ludes/hashish.  Then again, if you spend the holidays with Mary Worth, anything to get through them is worth a try:

Jeff looks particularly loopy, either stoned or giddy with the realization after years and years of keeping company with Mary, they’ve never tied the knot — they’re NOT married.  NOT family.  The good doctor is delirious at the thought!

I didn’t post this before we left for Las Vegas earlier in the week.  It doesn’t matter. The current story-line is still boring as heck, so here’s my intent of nipping it in the bud so that a thrilling new one can begin. Uh-huh.

…it must be Charterstone.

Another pool party.  *yawn*

Oh, hey, about about this for a Christmas card?  I made myself laugh:

I hadn’t planned on doing a Thanksgiving mashup (about half of the daily strips did, and this didn’t include Judge Parker (which, I suppose has enough giant breasts on a regular basis that make every day seem like Thanksgiving) or Rex Morgan (which still has Rex MIA, something about which I am NOT thankful)).

But Mary Worth…ah, Mary…

And then there’s “D,” for “dessert”:

I did consider “S” for “sexy,” but to whom would that apply?

Now “S” for “sex fiend,” I can understand:

GO, CHARLEY, GO!

That week of Delilah telling Mary her good news, and Mary telling Delilah that all good things happen if people just listen to Mary Worth appears to have only been a brief blip in the Idiot-O-Meter…instead of more with Delilah the Idiot, it appears we’re looping back to more of the Adrian the Idiot story.

Dang.

Although, to be honest, I was hoping that a new Delilah the Idiot story might re-introduce Charley the Perv.  Then again, what if Charley’s day job were a Physical Therapist?!?  ohpleaseohpleaseohplease…

Or, what if Scott’s primary care physician had a day off? Or was on vacation? Or had the flu? Or retired?

I think that little Guran dude is wandering around the halls…

You know you want it.

You wouldn’t dress that way if you didn’t.

Wait…what?

All this talk of babies and kindly old platitude-lobbers.  This is what you really want:

…looks who’s calling Mary!  Yes! It’s the Stupidest Child Prodigy in the World, Delilah!

Mary’s posture in this one confuses and concerns me.  Mary isn’t one for leanin’ back and ‘gargling platitudes’ (as CC’s True Fable so eloquently puts it).  Mary is a full-contact active meddler — she’s always trotting around the Charterstone community pool, or roaming the halls of Mountview Hospital, or stalking around the Bum Boat, waiting to be seated.  About the only time she’s “at ease,” is during her “Coffee Chats” with Toby, and even then, she’s got a wary eye on that toaster.

Because toasters cannot be trusted.

So…what exactly is Mary doing?

Mary’s armchair platitudinizin’ caused much merriment among the Comics Curminions (Mary getting a buzz…Mary quizzing Delilah on basic geometry formulas…), and just seeing the old biddy kicking back there is a thing of beauty.

Actually, it’s more a thing of ridicule, but I digress:

…but she’s as dumb as a post and doesn’t deserve mention (aside from Keep your freakin’ hands away from your freakin’ eyes, you dumb-ass!).

And this is a representative but rather conservative number of times DOCTOR Adrian Cory has touched and poked herself and/or others in the past four weeks’ worth of strips (one week being fairly absent, as Jeff Cory was schmoozing with the comatose Scott).

Anyway, the tedium in this current story can’t even be salvaged by comically-flailing limbs.  It seems that each and every plot point (e.g., Mary telling Adrian that her talking to an unconscious Scott was the reason he awoke) that might take one day’s strip to convey is being padded out into three or four.  Sure, the epileptic hand gestures are amusing, but they’re getting old.

Tedious.

Boring.

I don’t think this could be helped even by full-body interpretive dance.

Moy and Giella, please please please move on.

To quote Josh Fruhlinger directly:

The throwaway panels in today’s Mary Worth, meanwhile, offer a special subliminal treat: the mention of Willa Cather in the first panel made me briefly wonder if one of the tubes that Adrian was fiddling with was Scott’s catheter. “Okay, now, this line seems fine. How does it feel if I jerk on it like this?”

Of course, that’s just comedy gold.

Or some shade of yellow…