As in the Golden Age of the great sailing ships, physicians play an invaluable role in the well-being of their crew.
At least until Rex Morgan comes aboard.
And, yes, we’re going to devolve, more quickly than slowly, into the realm of poop humor.
Rex Morgan, M.D., has been alerted to a medical emergency!
Off he goes like the wind!
Something exciting is bound to happen soon!
(“soon” being about 10 days in the Rex Morgan universe…)
Of course, medical emergencies are never simple:
…the people are mostly nekkid. If they’d quite jabbering about that stowaway kid (funny, how nobody wanted to talk about him when only Sarah believed in him), this has the potential of diving to prurient depths. Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease.
I have to admit, that if we’re having to endure endless worry over some kid, at least Rex and June have gotten more comfortable and feel the need to strrrrreeettcccch those robes. Well, at least June does.
Of course, the evening has to end all too soon, and Rex was wakened at 5 AM by chief cook/bottle washer/cabin boy/token employee Second Officer Guido Tomas at the behest of the ship’s doctor because of an emergency. I would’ve bet good money that Guido was using his Boy Scout training to fill in for the doctor, but I guess I’m wrong.
How sad, though — no time for a morning quickie (at least not for Rex and June). It is nice to see June being nice to the employees, even with yesterday’s run-in with Purser McPissy.
Finally! Sarah is tucked into bed, and it’s time for a little kanoodling, Rex Morgan style…
There’s been lots of pirate action, or at least pirate talk, on the comics page. Pirates always seem to be an issue for The Phantom, and even Rex wonders, given the disastrous bend to the cruise, if a pirate ship isn’t just over the horizon.
Heck, even in 9 Chickweed Lane, Seth and Mark discuss piratical behavior (check out the 27 January 2009 panel…it’s great!). Of course, knowing me, some of that has to ooze over to other characters, other plots:
And in spite of everything, the talk continues to center on Sarah’s little stowaway friend. Personally, I’m bored with the Donut Kid, just as the Morgans seem with their own flesh-and-blood (Yes. I know that Rex looks really, really odd in the second panel. I didn’t mess with him at all, I swear! He does look pretty hunky in the last panel, you have to admit.):
And it’s all-inclusive, too!
And how annoying it this? After June and Rex’s sexy bantering in the Saturday strip, the glorious, multi-paneled Sunday edition is completely monopolized by June and Sarah talking about that #*&#$& stowaway donut-scarfer AGAIN!
I refuse to sit idly by when the opportunity for unspeakable filth is at hand!
You’re welcome.
Yeah, it’s Day 68 or so of the three-day Caribbean cruise. The stowaway child is still missing, the Dunsmores are still drunk, but supposedly dinner has been served. I’ll believe that when I see it.
In the meantime, Rex gets to humor Sarah.
Oh, and speaking of humoring someone, I’d like to think that other cartoonists are getting tired of Brooke McEldowney’s “hand-jive,” too.
Sadly, the original coloration of Rex’s hand (he was outside in the moonlight) looks somewhat zombie-like…
But wait! We’re not finished with deck-side intrigue. While the delectable dinner that Second Office Guido Tomas slaved over grows cold (or is ravaged by the Dunsmores), Rex and Sarah have a little father-daughter heart-to-heart…
Maybe, Homer. But for now, the humble donut is at least as interesting as Arthur Dunsmore.
And continuing Rex’s strange disengagement from the various topics of conversation at his own dinner table, I’m just chalking it up to (1) booze, or (2) just being the usual clueless Rex.
Another day, and wouldn’t you know it? The Cruise from Hell, or whatever you want to call it, it rapidly devolving into a Dunkin’ Donuts commercial…
The 11 January 2009 serial strips were particularly lead-footed today (and Sundays afford multiple panels for exciting action!). Lynn and her Mama Rose of a coaching dad continue to natter in Mary Worth. Sam is stuck in the airport with a two-hour layover in Judge Parker (oh, please, God, don’t show us his flight home). Not much has progressed in Rex Morgan, either, other than June finally believes that Sarah has Seen Something on deck and has gone outside to investigate (way to build your kid’s self-esteem, June).
Still, Mrs. Morgan manages to strike quite the colorful pose in the homey glow of a port-hole, leading to some speculation by CC’s commodorejohn and myself that dropping June into any comics strip would improve it.
Look! An experiment!
You Tube is dangerous to one’s creativity (or lack of it. or the ability to make good on it. I dunno.). Not only can I find several of the intros to the old 70s and 80s series “The Love Boat” on it, but in my mind, I can see it being so much better utilizing the current story in Rex Morgan.
In my mind.
I don’t have the mad skillz for animation (or for singing like Jack Jones), so you’ll just have to hum the new lyrics to yourself as you recall the intro and slip the frames in as necessary.
I imagine “guest stars” would include Kathleen “Dixie Julep” Patterson (subbing for Juliet Prowse), Max “the Ax” Malloy (ditto for Van Johnson), and Dr. Andy Reed (who gets stuck in there somewhere, just because he’s Rex’s friend).
My Loathe Boat theme:
Sex, with no strings attached,
Climb aboard.
Don’t remain unmatched.
Sex, bang the old headboard.
Morals go,
Will you remain unscratched?
The Loathe Boat
Is heading flat-out for bankruptcy
The Loathe Boat, filled with drunks and debauchery.
Set your eye on a steward,
Your mind on a noon-time fling.
Sex won’t hurt anymore
Get some KY from the medical store
It’s Seeeeeeeeeex!
Hello sailor – It’s Seeeeex!
Of course, one of the undeniable masters of song parody is CC’s Dingo, and if you want a second verse, here’s his version (Hi, Dingo, if you want me to delete this, I will…but it’s so dang good!):
The Rex Boat
Rex, that closeted fool
Pour a drink and push in his stool
Rex, here’s your chance for to take
Treat that Latin cock, like a T-bone steak!
The Rex boat, overboard both June and kid will go
The Rex boat promises Guido Tomas he’ll blow
If you take doctor’s orders
His moral borders will fall
And Rex won’t hurt anymore
Thanks to AstroGlide, he’s a hirsute whore!
It’s Rex!
Welcome aboard
It’s Rex!
You know you SAW something, or HEARD something, or SMELLED something, and just because you’re only five years old, Mom and Dad don’t believe you? You’re either scolded for imagining things, or ignored altogether.
And yet, when an Adult SEES something, or HEARS something, or SMELLS something that you’ve already told everyone about, suddenly it becomes the Gospel truth! Even when the Adult is an old, senile alcoholic.
This is why kids kill their parents with an axe when they’re 16. Well, that and having been given a name like “Dweezel” or “Taw’nisha” or “Apple Bronx Banana Fluff”…
